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Watch three different full episodes every Tuesday.
Has Daniel made it? You Decide!
See Daniel doing stand-up live on tour and be forever changed. Buy tickets now!
Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke in the comments.
Everyone knows the hands are the most expensive part of the model.
Next up: Teaching his cockatoo the song from Legend of Zelda's whistle in the hopes a tornado will come and whisk him away to a place where women will want to sleep with him.
[via Tastefully Offensive]
Glad you enjoyed the Drunk Knockout Web Rematch, Twon.
But come on… † "Wrote down"??
Why would you have to write down 007 373 5963?
Shit, I can recite that code faster than anyone's birthday in my immediate family.† And I'm pretty sure today is one of their birthdays.
"Well here's your problem…† Needs pepperoni."
I probably spent about half my childhood blowing into Nintendo games.† Once your machine reached a certain age, that was the only surefire way to get it to work.
Then I reached a certain age, discovered alcohol, and my childhood days ended.
Well, now someone over at Andy's Electronics Projects (Andy, maybe?) has combined the best of both worlds: a game called DrunkenNES that uses a breathalyzer stuck in an old NES cartridge to create a playable NES drinking game.
You blow in the cartridge just like old times and the game tosses your name up on an 8-bit leaderboard.
Not sure how you "beat" a game where the drunkest person wins.† Death by alcohol poisoning?
Regardless, as cool as this is, the hardest NES drinking game will always be when you drunkenly tell your buddies you can TKO Mike Tyson in the second round of Punch-Out!! and then they force you to prove it.
I can do it, I swear.† I've just drank way too many High Lifes.
The game Super Mario Bros. was first released in Japan on this day in 1985.
To commemorate, check out the above video providing a visual tour of the much of the Super Mario catalog.
I can't believe I've spent 25 years of my life hanging out with an Italian plumber with a severe mushroom addiction who loves stomping on the head of every creature he sees.
I could have been playing Super Mario Bros. games that entire time instead.
Alright, I gotta run and get this bag of mushrooms to my Italian plumber friend, Gino, otherwise he will stomp me on my head.† What an asshole.
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