NYC

"Now is someone gonna put donuts around these babies or what!?"

[via It Makes No Sense]

OMG this is JUST like that "Sex and the City" episode where none of them survived.

[via Break]

Sir? Would you mind moving? A billionaire wants to sit down.

[via The Chive]

Normally I don't solicit strangers for sex, but this is an emergency.

[via Fart Daughter]

What does Keanu care if he's standing or sitting? We're all living in The Matrix anyway.

His real body is actually asleep in some pod somewhere.

Or something. I couldn't pay attention to that stoner nonsense.

"Look at all the special effects!"  I'll tell you who was "special": the person who wrote that terrible script.

But yeah, regardless, Keanu is super nice guy.  He's just an actor.  The Matrix wasn't his fault.

[via Viral Viral Videos]

"It's a lot more glamorous than my last job where a millionaire fed an elephant hundred dollar bills and I pulled them out of its ass."

[via Nothing To Do With Arbroath]

Come on!  You mean you filmed all day and you didn't catch a single pedestrian or cyclist being hit by a bus?!?

What the hell was I watching for then?

For education??  Pfft.

[via The Daily What]

Tyler Cullen: What song are you listening to?

Person on the Street: I'm listening to shut the fuck up!

Tyler Cullen: Oh, by who?  Keith Murray?  Cam'ron?  Brides of Destruction?  Inactive Messiah?  Skapegoat?  Blade?  Capitalist Casualties?  Adrenaline?  Misconduct?  The Shat?  Toxic Narcotic?  Backyard Babies?  Tony Touch?  Blaire Bitch Project?  Big B?  Hyades?  Erratic Fool?  Esmirelda & The Tidbits?  Tommylift?  B Real?  DeVoe'?  Playgyrl Slim?  STFU?  Coathangers?  Mongrel?  Nutt Bone?  Bicasso?  Seein Red?  Through Sunken Eyes?  3 Minute Warning?  Gene Burnett?  Rave Allstars?  Grady G?  Hexadrome?  Angernoizer?  Dr. Wachowzki?  Orman Bitch?  S.W.I.L.L.?  Syntax Terror?  LSD?  Mr. Niles?  Da Beatminerz?  Inzest?  Presley aka Kronik?  Chris Crusher?  DJ Joshua Hiroshy?  Amibdextrous?  DAC?  Martin?  Static Killz?  J. Relli?  Pokechop?  Kazh Mir?  Tymega?  Circle K?  John Valby?  Semper Fidelis?  Bigg Ishh?  DJ Coone?  Duke Da God?  Potluck?  Volcano?  Future Disorder?

Person on the Street: Brides of Destruction.

[via Blame It On The Voices]

Let's be honest: Your New Year's Eve plans suck.

Ringing in 2011 with your friends and family is just a lame substitution for what you really want to be doing: watching the ball drop live in Times Square while being entertained by the hottest recording artists and celebrities.

Well, this year you are in luck as there is now an official Times Square Ball App for your Apple or Android-powered handheld device!

Avert your eyes from your first glimpses of your 6 month old nephew, block out the stories of your brother-in-law's second tour of duty in Afghanistan with earbuds, and throw the glass of champagne your grandmother served you in her finest crystal to the floor: You'll need all your senses to leave your sad existence in Missoula, Montana behind and travel 2,300 miles in an instant by fully engaging yourself in the hottest NYE party in NYC with the help of cellular technology!

Don't have a smartphone?  With only 4 days left until Christmas, there's never been a better time to ask your parents that you hate to buy you one for the holidays.  Then upon opening and activating your device, download the new Times Square Ball App immediately!

Your life is unimportant but that doesn't mean your New Year's Eve has to be.  Get reasonably close to the actual fun no matter where you are in this sad, dead world… with the Times Square Ball App!

Happy New Years from the only good city in the world… New York City.

Oh, and by the way, you're welcome.  We know this is possibly the greatest thing that has ever happened for you.

[via Mashable]

I love the girl in red on the right who really can't decide if she's disgusted or impressed.

"The dancing was good but that floor is so icky! I hope they spent the two dollars I gave them on Purell."