obama

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

-Lingerie for men, because nothing soaks up ball sweat quite like lace

-McDonald's breakfast all day? Yes please with a side of hash browns.

-This bear escape looks a lot like a dude holding a piece of cardboard

-15 really bad engagement photos that make me happy I'm UTTERLY ALONE

-Some hot girl's asses, because texting them to one guy is fucking prude

-The best Larry David tattoos… pret-ty pret-ty cool

-A Kim Kardashian clone showed up in Ray-J's video. Thankfully she wasn't pregnant.

-Women are stupid. Here's why.

-Prison reviews on Yelp. May I serve my sentence at Rikers, Your Honor?

-And Obama with bangs.

[photo via HommeMystere]

The White House took down two of our petitions! Not. Cool.

Apparently the government wants to think they're getting a better deal on an ice cream maker than their neighbor, even though it's obvious their neighbor ALSO got a 20% off coupon, because they took down our Bed, Bath & Beyond proposal.

Then they saw the Dave Chappelle petition, but were still so mad about the coupons! So that one is down too. You can't get between somebody and their savings.

Turns out it's really hard to change America. But you can still sign these other petitions:

1. Pass a law to unite the Dakotas into one state.

2. Get rid of all coins. And $10's and $50's. And butterscotch hard candies. 

3. Grant US citizenship to any Mexican who can make a killer fish taco. 

"I know he said no photos, but I can be sly about it."

[via The Chive]

This is how white guys have to find their penises.

We received hundreds of comments in our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

After looking at your likes, we picked the caption above from a comment left by Bobby McGlinchey.

Don't like it? See other top captions by checking out the comments from Monday's post.

Thanks to everyone who submitted! Come back next Monday at 4pm for another edition.

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text PUKE to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.

"And if you look real close, you'll see your future job market."

Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

And help us choose our favorite by liking the captions you think are best. We'll take your likes into consideration when making our pick.

On a mobile device? Go here.

[photo: AFP/Getty Images]

"Hit me." -Jay-Z

[via The Daily What]

Michelle said "you have beautiful eyes", but we don't know what Beyoncé said because she just mouthed the words.

We received hundreds of comments in our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

After looking at your likes, we picked the caption above from a comment left by Matt Allen.

Don't like it? See other top captions by checking out the comments from Monday's post.

Thanks to everyone who submitted! Come back next Monday at 4pm for another edition.

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text PUKE to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.

"Take your hand out of your pants, Mr. President." -Barack's in-ear monitor

Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

And help us choose our favorite by liking the captions you think are best. We'll take your likes into consideration when making our pick.

On a mobile device? Go here.

[photo: Jewel Samad/Staff/Getty Images]

"Will you feed me now, Mommy?"

[via DoucheChillz]

Maybe if Barack's name was actually Bronco, he'd get more of the Southern vote.

[via I Heart Chaos]