obituary

Again, to clarify, AJ was the good kid. All the money should go to him.

[via Buzzfeed]

Mr. Donald Charles Unsworth died doing what he loved. Hating the president.

[via BlameItOnTheVoices]

In what is surely the Ponzi scheme of obituary writing, it turns out that the guy who wrote Elizabeth Taylor's obituary for the New York Times, Mel Gussow, has himself been dead for 5 years.

Quick: Whose obituary did Liz Taylor write!?  You have 5 years to live.

But seriously, nothing says having success in the autumn of your years like your obituary not needing a significant update over a five year span.  Can you imagine if they used a five-year-old obituary for Betty White!?  It would be completely inaccurate.  She's accomplished so much since then!  What did Elizabeth Taylor do in that span?  Die.  Boring.  Step up your game, Deceased Liz Taylor.

In other news, in case you haven't heard, Liz Taylor died.

[via The Daily What]

Yesterday, PopEater.com broke the news that the Associated Press, the world's largest wire news service, has been updating Lindsay Lohan's obituary just in case they suddenly have to scramble to break the news.  This just days after white powder was seen exploding out of her shoes (as seen above).

My big question is, What the hell has to be updated?

She hasn't had a theatrical movie release since 2007.  Her lifestyle hasn't really changed recently.  There's been nothing new on the lesbian front in a long time.

I think the headline "Child-Star-Turned-Crazy-Addict Dies" still works as well today as it would have three years ago.