office

"Hi.  Is this tech support?  …  Yes, someone installed a desk below my desk.  I was hoping I could have it removed.  …  Yes, they gave me a ladder but–  …  No, the ladder isn't too tall at all, it's the perfect size, but…"

[via Izismile]

It's like that scene from Office Space…

Except it's in a British accent, so it's like watching the original British version of The Office…

Except it stars a cat, so it's lame…

So it's like watching the original British version of The Office.

[via Urlesque]

Every week we see countless comments that have absolutely nothing to do with anything. Our favorite irrelevant comment this week came from emophillips in response to a comment-worthy news story about Elmo.

Sometimes I just think you guys are messing with me.

Like, you see that I wrote a post and you know I choose the irrelevant comments. So you compose the most absurd grouping of words you can think of, knowing that I'll spend half an hour trying to decipher their meaning while wondering if I am just out of touch with eccentric comedians and their love of both toast and Greek philosophy.

Well, you got me this time, funny man.

If you have any irrelevant comments please go ahead and leave them below. We bloggers appreciate your cooperation!

My extension is 508 in case anyone is wondering.

The writer of the movie Big is totally kicking himself for not writing this scene.

Or maybe Big has… become real!  Find Zoltar!!!

[via I Am Bored]

First, I see the photo above on UniqueDaily.

Giddy beyond belief with childlike excitement, I immediately send the link to fellow blogger Joselyn Hughes.

She provided me with a "meh"-esque response, shooting back a link to a post from yesterday's YepYep of this dog to the right.

At this point, I realize something is happening here.  A phenomenon is brewing under our feet like some sort of secret subterranean coffee house.

I decide to Google "dog shirt tie" — a mistake I wish I had never made…

For I discovered this…

Amazon.com selling the "Dog Business Suit Shirt Tie Size Petite."

What has been seen, cannot be unseen…

Though it is half off, which, despite never having been in the market for a dog suit in the past, seems like a pretty good deal.

What if you were restricted to keeping your conversations to a 140 character count? If you didn't already, that is, outside of Twitter. (That was 138 characters, FYI).

Too bad he hasn't heard of XLTweet, Twtlong, or Twtlonger– could have saved him a job. If you're going to be an internet nerd, may as well go full out and know all of your options.
(I know about those sites because I researched.)

Okay, I'm an internet nerd. But at least I don't have conversations all under 140 characters.

[via Poptub]

It's one thing to post a passive aggressive note in the workplace, but having a sign made and posting it in the workplace is another level. I feel like my mother somehow had a part in this.  

I would hope that if this sign were to be put on computers, the amount of single-themed tumblr blogs would sharply decrease, but that's shooting pretty high.  But right now, the internet is winning.  Every time I log on and surf reddit, I am destroying parts of my brain and so are you.  

(Except for this blog, it makes you real smarter. Keep reading!)

Thank you, Carolyn Duffy Marsan.  I read your article earlier this week on Network World entitled "12 Words You Can Never Say in the Office" and it left me deeply pondering the question… What the heck kind of office does Carolyn Duffy Marsan work in?!

Firstly, Ms. Marsan suggests we no longer use the term "Intranet" lest we embarrass ourselves in front of our coworkers.  As she points out, "Today, every private network runs IP.  So you can just use the term virtual private network or VPN to describe a private IP-based network."

Ohhh… because here's the thing: In my office, if you were to say that last part you just said, you'd probably be having lunch by yourself for awhile since no one would ever want to listen to you speak again.

She also suggests the phrase "Web Surfing" is passe.  "When is the last time you heard someone talk about surfing the Web?" she wrote, probably with one hand so she could use the other to pat herself on the back.

I used it just moments ago, actually.  A coworker asked me, "How did you find that terrible Carolyn Duffy Marsan article?!"  And I replied, "By surfing the Web!"

To conclude her list, Marsan proclaims, "Nobody talks about the 'World Wide Web' anymore, or the 'Information Superhighway,' for that matter.  It?s just the Internet….  Nothing dates you more than pulling out one of those old-fashioned ways of referring to the Internet."

Little piece of advice, Carolyn…  Nothing makes you seem more arrogant than telling people what words they can and cannot use.  Lay off those of us who still like our WWWs, okay?

Here's a recent tech word I'm sure Ms. Marsan would find acceptable: Digg Bait.  Because apparently that's all this article was.  I hope the traffic it drove to your page gave you a strong CTR.

Am I allowed to say that, Network World, or do I sound dated?!?!

This guy isn?t even messy ? he just drinks Coke too quickly for them to empty the trash cans. It?s okay though because he?s the fastest guy in the office. Did I write "fastest?" I meant "fattest."

My pet theory, though, is that we've found Coke Drinker's grotto (AKA: Sodahead13).

[via Pig Jockey]

This week's unclaimed domain:

CoffeeGoggles.com

.

From the phrase "beer goggles," "coffee goggles" are when your morning coffee distorts your workload, causing you to get overly ambitious about what you'll get done today. By the time the coffee wears off, you've buried yourself in stupid tasks, but you've completely cleaned your whole desk, filed a bunch of papers and rearranged your cubicle tchotchkes.

"Coffee goggles" is popular office slang (actually, I just made it up ten minutes ago). Either way, that clever little phrase in dot com form is still up for grabs. We're just as surprised as you are.

Here are some potential uses for coffeegoggles.com:

• The store page for anti-fog glasses.
• A Tumblr written by some creep who sees attractive girls at Starbucks.
• A photo gallery of awesome latte art that's actually made with really crappy espresso.
• Or, just buy it and forward it to the Tosh.0 Blog!

I thought last week's Unclaimed Doman, PaintMyHotDog.com, was too ridiculous to get bought. I was wrong! Hurry up and buy coffeegoggles.com before someone else does.