online

Also available: A separate but equal amount of White Kid's Computer Desks!

[via Imgur]

That's why you're here reading the Tosh.0 blog.  Tryin' to stay abstinent.

Otherwise you'd definitely be having sex right now.

You don't have to try to convince us.

[via The Clearly Dope]

Can you guys read this study and let me know what it says? I'm a little busy watching cat videos.

[via AP]

Did you see what Jenna just wrote on her Facebook page? She said she's shopping at Trader Joe's but she's not because I'm here and I don't see her. Yup, I just refreshed her page and she said she's in the yogurt section.

Ha! What a loser.

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Your mom is such a slut, she made the Action News.

[via IHC]

Daniel helps a bipolar bachelor find true, everlasting love ? or something like that.

Mashable recently interviewed Tim Ferriss after he gave a talk at The Next Web ?10 event in Amsterdam on "how to learn to love haters."  He discussed with them his "7 Great Principles for Dealing with Haters."

Ooh!  Look at me!  My name is Tim Ferriss and know everything about haters and I have a big ugly head and hold a mic like a loser.  I make numbered lists.  That's original.

But that's what Tim wants.  He wants us to hate.  If we hate, he wins.

So I'd like to let Tim Ferriss know I think he did an adequate job with this list — by no means bad, but not mind-shattering.  Just average.  Perfectly normal.

Game, set, match, Pomranz.

[Go on and hate on this post: I've read all of Tim Ferriss's principles.  Checkmate.]

Jonah Peretti, co-founder of Huffington Post and Buzzfeed and unofficial king of the nerds has created a fun little game on Twitter assuring you will never leave your house again. It's called Choose Your Own Twitter Adventure! and it lets you make a series of choices that dictate the storyline of your own personal adventure.

It's like one of those books you read as a kid with all the different storylines, except it's online.

As a kid, those books were good because the excitement of choosing your own fate kept you reading. Now it's just another thing that's keeping you on Twitter for longer than you should be.

I say, go outside. Get off the computer. That's where your real adventure will begin. You can dictate your fate with every decision you make it real life, too. Go. Go live life.

Wait… don't really go. Guys? Come back! Don't leave me here by myself! I don't know which wire to cut! The blue one?

[via Mashable]

We are the people of the Internet! Except, I'm a bit confused by what the BBC thinks we do all day on here.

Are we in dialogue with leaders? LOL, Obama, WTF was Michele wearing during that press conference?

Are we helping scientists find cures for diseases? Here, show that sick guy this video of a cat. It's adorable.

Are we helping to preserve the planet's most precious resources? If by preserve you mean carve into the shape of a peen, then yeah.

I guess we are making a difference in the world!

As for the peace thing. There is no place more peaceful than Selleck Waterfall Sandwich.

Just don't tell the BBC about Cooter Kicks. That may have been a step in the wrong direction. World peace!

[via Geekologie]

Salvador Dali once famously quipped: "I don't do drugs; I am drugs."

Which is kind of how I would feel if someone asked me, "How often do you use the Internet at home?"

I don't use the Internet at home; my home is the Internet.

Seriously.

I don't "use the internet several times a day."  I use the Internet once a day… all day… everyday.  Thanks to my wireless router, the Internet is hovering about in every cubic inch of my apartment at any given moment for me to grab.  Multiple laptops are open and ready to strike at anytime, constantly awaiting that next email or instant message or Google search.

If I am not on the Internet, something is wrong.  Something needs to be unplugged and then replugged and then hopefully everything will go back to normal or it will be time to FREAK OUT.

Each year, Focus tracks "The State of the Internet" and publishes it using graphs like the one above.

Well that's my state of the Internet.  I guess I fall under "OTHER."

[via The Presurfer]