opening

I'm easily impressed by Internet cat videos, but this one just doesn't do it for me.  Because ANYONE could teach their cat how to open a jar of food!  In fact, I'm going to tell you the steps how to do it right now.

STEP #1: Get as many cats as possible
STEP #2: Starve your cats for a minimum of 23 days
STEP #3: Taunt your starving cats by placing a completely full jar of food in front of them
STEP #4: Set up your Flip cam and let the fun begin

Like a million starving monkeys at a million typewriters, one of these cats is bound to discover the new found ability to open a jar deep within its survival instincts.

HOWEVER, if your cats are unable to open the jar, try following these three additional steps.

STEP #5: Get a good lawyer
STEP #6: Find a quiet safe house where you can hide out for about 7 months while this whole debacle blows over with PETA
STEP #7: Repeat Steps 1 – 4

[via Buzzfeed]

Bad first pitches have become a staple of funny web videos.  Howard Stern personality Baba Booey was a recent victim whose embarrassing baseball moment went viral.  But sportswriter/PTI host Mike Wilbon, comedian/Academy Award nominee Bill Murray and, very notably, track legend Carl Lewis have all had their moments in the sun just to name a few.

Well, over the weekend, actor Mark Wahlberg became the latest ceremonial first pitch thrower to fall victim.

But Wahlberg should feel pretty damn special.  They gave him a second try.  They didn't even give that to the Mayor of Cincinnati when he botched his attempt to open up a ball game in his home city!

Now if only someone could give Wahlberg a second try for The Happening.

But Wahlberg's pitch wasn't THAT bad.  Who do you think has the worst first pitch of all time under their belt?  Post links to videos in the comments.

[via ESPN]