Tuesday, on an ALL NEW episode of Tosh.0, we give this stomach-curdling romantic a Web Redemption, and prove that the quickest way to a woman's heart is through a video that will make the rest of the world dry heave.
According to WFTV Orlando, this gentleman was arrested for shooting his 13-year-old son with a BB gun to encourage him to run sprints in their front yard in 100+ degree weather to get his kid in shape for football.
Now let's play "Guess what kind of hat he was wearing?"
A) New York Yankees
B) Los Angeles Lakers
C) Miller High Life Racing
I have no idea really. Leave your guess in the comments.
Orlando taxpayers are going to be really upset when they find out how much money their bomb squad blew on the explosion of poor Butterscotch.
Almost as upset as the parents who spent $350.00 on a lifelike pony only to have it destroyed by the cast of The Hurt Locker.
I just don't understand why police jumped to conclusions assuming Butterscotch was a bomb.
It seemed a lot more likely to me that little aliens packed themselves inside the toy pony then rolled it onto an elementary school playground so that when night fell, they could all jump out of the pony and destroy the school from the inside. Thus ending the 10-year war between aliens and Orlando educational institutions.
Either way, the Butterscotch threat was taken care of. I guess we'll never know if that one alien played by Brad Pitt would have made it out alive.
I'm sort of excited for The Wizarding World of Harry Potter themepark. It looks fun and expensively-made. And I've always wanted to ride the Hogwarts Express. But what I find the most exciting about The Wizarding World of Harry Potter is that it will probably act as a gateway park to other fantastical movie-based amusement centers.
And I can't wait to visit The Sparkling Land of Edward Cullen!
There will be a CGI ride where you grab on to a virtual Edward's back and he pretends to climb you up a bunch of trees. And then there will be the roller coaster of Kristen Stewart's emotions where you sit still in a chair and bite your lip. Oh! And there will be the werewolf area of the park where you just walk around without your shirt on. That's it. You just walk around without your shirt on.
Dude, that cat just RUINED your perfectly good game of ping-pong!
If a cat ran onto the court during a professional table tennis match, you wouldn't exclaim, "Hey! It's ping-pong kitty!" You'd say, "Hey! Get that stupid f***ing cat outta here!"
But even more appalling is that is video is posted by The Orlando Sentinel on their YouTube page with the following description: "Miss Sadie of Orlando tries to get in on a game of ping-pong during a Thanksgiving family reunion. See more animal news at www.orlandosentinel.com/animal crazy."
"See more animal news"?? How the hell is this "animal news"? How is this "NEWS"??
Hey, lady, better get this in to "Funniest Videos" quick before the whole world has burned in the apocalypse, which was inadvertently started by The Orlando Sentinel.