Tosh.0 Blog

Kids Are Useful

Posted by: Matt Koff | February 28, 2013 at 1:00PM

"My step-stool was broken, and now so is my daughter's hymen."

[via Izismile]

Oh Don't Be Such A Scrooge

Posted by: Matt Koff | December 12, 2012 at 1:00PM

Santa would help, but he's the one holding the camera. (And jerking off.)

[via I Am Bored]

One of the Many Reasons I Keep My Shirt Buttoned At All Times

Posted by: Matt Koff | November 6, 2012 at 6:00PM

You know what they say: the quickest way to a man's heart is by biting his entire nipple off like a psychopath.

[via I Am Bored]

Tags: 

bite

club

dance

nipple

ow

pain

teat

wtf

What's The Most Menacing Way To Cut A Banana?

Posted by: Matt Koff | October 2, 2012 at 1:00PM

Fine, I'll do the dishes. Geez.

[via Acid Cow]

Tags: 

apples

banana

bris

circumcision

fruit

kitchen

ouch

ow

threats