"No, I can talk. My kid's hands-free."
[via The Chive]
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I've got a feeling her Prince Charming is going to be some guy named Chet.
He tells me he's going to quit once he gets past the "Terrible Twos."
[via Uber Humor]
Joke's on him though. Kid just blew a .24.
[via Scrotum Coat]
Maybe if you made sure she had both socks on like a real caretaker, she wouldn't be barefoot in her own vomit right now.