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It's been awhile since we featured a single-serving Tumblr blog.
But I like the general premise behind "httFp" — which, as they describe it, is a "collection of Hilarious Tweets addressed by unknown tweeters To Famous People."
I should start one of these called "HTTDT" — "Hilarious Tweets addressed by unknown tweeters To Daniel Tosh." Except instead of "hilarious," the tweets are better described as "idiotic," and instead of "by unknown tweeters," it's "by all of you."
Don't believe me? Let's just pick the first one that comes up…
According to a totally legitimate and not at all fake source, Paris Hilton wanted to use the bathroom before talking to police because was trying to stash coke in her vagina.
"She knew it would be her only chance to hide the cocaine and avoid arrest."
So what. Big deal. If you recall, Paris thought that cocaine was gum. And who wouldn't hide their last pack of Trident in their no-no part?
If you keep gum out in the open, everyone else will see it and want a piece. And then all of a sudden you're the Spearmint Santa Claus and you're passing out strips to the whole room.
According to People:
When a little white baggie fell out of the purse she was carrying, Paris Hilton had an explanation for Las Vegas police.
"She had not seen it but now thought it was gum,” said an officer's report.
Ah, yes. The ole I-thought-that-white-powder-in-a-clear-plastic-baggie-was-gum excuse.
I could see how that might work. They look EXACTLY the same. In fact, I just turned down a piece of gum the other day because I thought it was a line of coke.