pee-wee herman

Has anyone else been annoyed by these "Who to follow" lists that recently popped up on Twitter?

At first, I just tried to ignore it.  No, I don't want to follow MacGruber.  I'm the only one in America who actually saw the movie!  What more do you want from me!?

Eventually, I began pounding on the "X" buttons to make them go away, but they just kept coming back like the Terminator T-1000.  They couldn't be destroyed.

And then it happened…  The same suggestion came up twice.  I had entered a "Who to follow" wormhole where suggestions are able to look back upon themselves.

"Who would you like to follow, Mike?" I could hear Twitter asking in its lifeless, monotone, robotic voice.  "How about Pee-wee Herman?"  It pauses.  "Or why not try following Pee-wee Herman?"

Now, I don't know Pee-wee Herman.  I'm not even sure if he's a real person.  (He isn't, is he?)  I don't necessarily want to be following him.  But I couldn't resist.  Twitter had bent time and space.  And so I followed him.  I followed Pee-wee Herman.

Twitter won.  I clicked on "X" after "X" after "X" and yet I could never fully terminate the "Who to follow" list.  They broke me, but they had to alter the cosmos itself to make it happen.

Anyway, ball's in your court, Herman.  Hope you have some great tweets up your sleeve.

Pee-wee Herman was on Jay Leno last night. More importantly, yesterday, he blasted out his first tweet. His account page even looks like his distinctive gray suit, minus the poor tailoring.

I guess Twitter is the closest he can get to "following" children without their parents' permission. Ha ha! [Imagine that part in the Pee-wee voice.]

Pee-wee held a little competition to accrue followers. It's already over, so I don't recommend following him. However, I must recommend following Conky the Robot, if only to stay on top of the Playhouse secret word of the day.

One random Tweeter, CouchFire, responded to the Pee-wee news with:

In honor of @peeweeherman's glorious comeback. I am going to attempt to "pet the legendary totem pole" to fruition, in a cinema tonight.

I like to imagine Pee-wee Tweeting back with, "@CouchFire I know you are but what am I?"