pen

And quit showing off- my blow jobs are free too.

[via The Chive]

No one should put pen-like objects near your genitals? Isn't that the entire point of a vagina?

Also, shout out to the only legitimate member of the PEN15 club.

[via The Chive]

Do you have a pen? I'll give you my number.

Nevermind.

[via Stuff]

I debated all morning whether I wanted to post this or not.  It's kinda old.

But then I realized, What is more timeless than goat-f#@&ing??

Nothing really.

Our ancestors would be proud that we carry on this ancient tradition.  The one where we have sex with goats.

[via The Daily What]

This is how the Trojan War started, right?

Paris took a pen from the King of Sparta? It was the most beautiful pen in all the world. King Menelaus wanted it back so he recruited his brother and they attacked the city.

It's been a while since I've seen Troy but I think that's the plot.

Czechs better watch out.

[via Videogum]

So that's why they leave a pen in your room…

We've had Do Not Disturb signs on the blog in the recent past, but I think this version brings the whole gag to its inevitable conclusion.

Remember: Honesty is always the best policy.  And it's respectful to future guests.  Now the maid knows what kind of stains to look out for.  Semen can be tricky to spot without a black light.

[via Reddit]

We dug through hundreds of comment looking for the best user submitted caption for our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

After much deliberation, we picked the following caption from a comment left by THC of L.I..

It's going to suck even more when he realizes he parked his car in his bedroom.

Thanks to everyone who submitted!  Check back Monday at 4 pm for another edition the Tosh.0 Caption Challenge where you'll once again have an opportunity to try to prove if you're funnier than Tosh.0!

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text TOSH to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.

We dug through hundreds of comment looking for the best user submitted caption for our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

After much deliberation, we picked the following caption from a comment left by Murfburger.

The test results are back and they were positive.
I'm sorry?you are a penguin.

Thanks to everyone who submitted!  Check back Monday at 4 pm for another edition the Tosh.0 Caption Challenge where you'll once again have an opportunity to try to prove if you're funnier than Tosh.0!

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text TOSH to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.

Welcome to the Tosh.0 Caption Challenge at it's new day and time, Mondays at 4pm.

Think you're funnier than Tosh.0? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

"So how many subscriptions to National Geographic can I put you down for?"