penguin

Three drunk guys stealing a penguin — Australian for "gaaaaaaaaay."

[via Gawker]

If all the other penguins jumped into the lake, would you?

No.

[via Tastefully Offensive]

There's a harsh truth to face.  No way I'm gonna make it on the outside.  All I do anymore is think of ways to break my parole, so maybe they'd send me back.  Terrible thing, to live in fear.  Brooks Hatlen knew it.  Knew it all too well.  All I want is to be back where things make sense.  Where I won't have to be afraid all the time.  Only one thing stops me.  A promise I made to Andy.

But then I think, Fuck, Andy.  I'm a goddamn penguin.  What does he expect from me!?

[via VVV]

Yeah, we're all wasting our degrees.

[via TBT]

Last Friday, we showed you "Amazing Flying Penguin" and asked you to give us a better title.

We picked five of our favorites and now it's your chance to vote on a winner.

Vote below! Then check back this Thursday for the results and a new video.

This video is called "Amazing Flying Penguin."  That seems safe.  Having a wild animal walking around on your flight.

Think you got a funnier name for this video? Let us know in the comments! Then check back on Tuesday at noon for the vote off!

The winner of Tuesday's Rename This Video Vote was Stephen Putegnat pulling in over half the vote with his title, "Even the rockets are lazy in Mexico."  Wait, you mean you guys chose the racist title?  Nah.  I don't believe that.  Not you guys.  Congratulations, Stephen!

To paraphrase Josh the Board Breaker, "Something that seems difficult can be easy, you just have to try."

Tune in tomorrow at 10 for more inspiration.

[via CollegeHumor]

We dug through hundreds of comment looking for the best user submitted caption for our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

After much deliberation, we picked the following caption from a comment left by THC of L.I..

It's going to suck even more when he realizes he parked his car in his bedroom.

Thanks to everyone who submitted!  Check back Monday at 4 pm for another edition the Tosh.0 Caption Challenge where you'll once again have an opportunity to try to prove if you're funnier than Tosh.0!

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text TOSH to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.

We dug through hundreds of comment looking for the best user submitted caption for our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

After much deliberation, we picked the following caption from a comment left by Murfburger.

The test results are back and they were positive.
I'm sorry?you are a penguin.

Thanks to everyone who submitted!  Check back Monday at 4 pm for another edition the Tosh.0 Caption Challenge where you'll once again have an opportunity to try to prove if you're funnier than Tosh.0!

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text TOSH to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.

Welcome to the Tosh.0 Caption Challenge at it's new day and time, Mondays at 4pm.

Think you're funnier than Tosh.0? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

"So how many subscriptions to National Geographic can I put you down for?"