penis

I was already going to. That's the safe way.

Get it, you guys? Safeway.

Is it the weekend yet?

[via FailBlog]

I'm not sure whose tombstone this is, but I'm guessing he was a dick to a lot of people.

[via The Chive]

I haven't read any of the Harry Potter books or seen any of the movies and I still know the answer is his penis.

[via Reddit]

Now you also know where sea crabs come from.  And why they're so delicious.

[via Viral Viral Videos]

When Mommy mows the yard.

[via reddit]

Last Friday, we showed you "Penis Pianist" and asked you to give us a better title.

We picked five of our favorites and now it's your chance to vote on a winner.

Vote below! Then check back this Thursday for the results and a new video.

This video is called "Penis Pianists."  I know you guys have been dying to make penis jokes, so here is your chance…

Think you got a funnier name for this video? Let us know in the comments! Then check back on Tuesday at noon for the vote off!

The winner of this week's Rename This Video Vote was Rich Slack with his title, "You know how long it took me to get to that highway to kill myself? Thanks for moving me asshole."  I should point out, however, that it's less of a title and more of a rhetorical question and answer.  But this is a democracy, so all hail this week's winner, Rich Slack!  Congratulations!

I debated all morning whether I wanted to post this or not.  It's kinda old.

But then I realized, What is more timeless than goat-f#@&ing??

Nothing really.

Our ancestors would be proud that we carry on this ancient tradition.  The one where we have sex with goats.

[via The Daily What]

Dude, you screwed up!

You put your perfectly good "Give Penis, Take Penis" sign next to a bowl of change!

[via The High Definite]

Put your hand up a little. No, wait, down. Ok, now up. Up a little more. Down. Up. Down.

Perfect.

Now let me switch the camera out of video mode.

[via Unique Daily]