phones

But a lack of archaic cell phones ain't one.

Being an embarrassment to myself is though.

[via Acid Cow]

They figure with tech support strapped right to the phone
old people won't find it so scary to use one.

We received over 700 comments in our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

After looking at your likes, we picked the caption above from a comment left by Amy Cordova.

Don't like it? See other top captions by checking out the comments from Monday's post.

Thanks to everyone who submitted! Come back next Monday at 4pm for another edition.

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text PUKE to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.

Now you can play Angry Birds while receiving oral sex!

Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

And help us choose our favorite by liking the captions you think are best. We'll take your likes into consideration when making our pick.

On a mobile device? Go here.

That'll keep those altar boys from calling for help!

We received over 700 comments in our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

After looking at your likes, we picked the caption above from a comment left by Matthew Anderson.

Don't like it? See other top captions by checking out the comments from Monday's post.

Thanks to everyone who submitted! Come back next Monday at 4pm for another edition.

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text PUKE to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.

People will try anything to keep AT&T from dropping their calls.

Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

And help us choose our favorite by liking the captions you think are best. We'll take your likes into consideration when making our pick.

On a mobile device? Go here.

[photo: Valery Hache/Staff/AFP/Getty Images]

On February 10th, the iPhone is coming to Verizon.

That sound you're hearing is millions of whiny AT&T customers canceling their unreliable service in anticipation of switching to Verizon's equally terrible service, millions of whiny Android owners collectively throwing out their Droid X's, and the sound of douchebaggery in the United States almost immediately doubling.

"Can you hear me now?"

Yes, I can hear you!  You won't shut up about how you're about to be getting the fucking iPhone!!

[via The Daily What]

I'm very proud of my title.  Let's just get that out of the way.

But on to the news, Geekology pointed me toward this interesting finding:

"According to a recent study of smart phone users, people with iPhones have the most sexual partners (and VDs), followed by those with Blackberries and Androids."

Makes perfect sense to me.  I feel like younger people tend to have iPhones and older people tend to have Blackberries.  And younger people tend to get more poontang and older people tend to be married and have kids and hate their lives.

And then I have an Android, so that's severely hurting the Android's number because I get serious negative amounts of ass.  Serious negative.

Hi!  I'm Mike Pomranz from Tosh.0.  And I'm here at Starbucks to purchase and drink a coffee.

But first, 11 seconds on what Starbucks is.  Starbucks is a coffee chain, and what you do there is simple: you purchase coffee, maybe get something to eat, and you do work or meet with other people.  Work is something you do when you're not wasting your life playing social media games on your smartphone like a loser.

Today, I've created a new challenge called "Spot the awkward weirdos fist bumping their phones together."  It's just like when you normally spot awkward weirdos, but these weirdos will have a tech-dorky vibe to them.

Alright!  So let's give it a try!

Hey, there they are!  One's wearing a pair of sunglasses he bought in 1992 and the other is probably like, um, "a six."

Now why don't you two shut the fuck up so I can get some blogging done in peace and quiet.  Thanks!

[via Mashable]

I have good news and bad news.

The bad news is, according to Mashable, the new iPhone 4 is already sold out in pre-sale.

But the good news!  There are still plenty of other ways you can be a douche bag while you wait for the second batch of iPhone 4s to be released.

• You can complain about how upset you are that you weren't able to get a pre-order on your new iPhone 4 in spite of the fact that the world has real problems to deal with
• You can openly ponder whether you think the new iPhone 4 will be a better or worse investment than your iPad loudly in the middle of douchey bars
• You can blankly stare at the calendar on your 6-month-old "old" iPhone wondering when your new iPhone might be available
• You can turn to you friends who don't have any iPhones and say, "Hey, can you check–  Oh, never mind, I got it."

Awesome, right!  That'll kill more time in your meaningless life!