politics

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In Alabama they speak English. They also wear cowboy hats and use the word hawhah, as in "Hawhah am I on a horse?"

Dale Peterson has been a farmer, a businessman, a cop, and a Marine during Vietnam. Dale Peterson is America.

No matter how many yard signs are stolen from his supporters' homes, Dale Peterson will still get his message out. Ya'll better believe that.

If you give a rip, choose Dale Peterson as Agriculture Commissioner. Hawhah would you vote for anyone else?

[via Gawker]

I think government should stay away from anything to do with screaming.  We don't believe in being quiet, but I myself a veteran who realized American dream because of my hard work and three jobs, I like to take care of my own vocal chords and get the best warm tea money can buy to take care of my voice box.

It's called capitalism, sir.  Talking in a normal tone of voice does not work.  I am originally from Nicaragua.  I run away from people who talk in a civilized manner.  I realize normal volumes do not work.  Civilized discourse does not work and the death of America will be civilized discourse.

That is so clear, because I came to this country looking for a chance to SCREAM — for the freedom to SCREAM AS LOUD AS I WANT — not for the GOVERNMENT to tell me when to YELL and when to BE QUIET!

I live for America!  I work for America!  And I LOVE THIS COUNTRY!  And I can't stand SPEAKING IN A POLITE TONE!!  I CAN'T STAND WHISPERING!!!  THE ONLY GOOD LIBRARIAN IS A DEAD LIBRARIAN!!!!

You want to say anything more??

[via BuzzFeed]

Bristol Palin has a really super effective PSA out right now where she encourages teenage girls to not have sex UNLESS they're rich and famous like her. Because that cute giggly child right there? Her baby? ALMOST ruined her life. Her life would be the pits…if she wasn't so rich and famous.

Well, I suppose that's a good concept for a PSA. Don't do anything I would do because you're not as entitled as me. My main problem with this is not the message. It's the visual execution of the idea.

If you're rich and you have a baby out of wedlock, you wear tweed and have furniture in your apartment. But if you're not rich and you have a baby out of wedlock, you wear a t-shirt and jeans and your hair is PULLED UP INTO A HAIRTIE! And you live in the same apartment, it's just not furnished.

Well, that doesn't look so bad. I mean, I don't have hardwood floors at my place. And I need a couch. Maybe I should be a teen mom! Seems like a step up from what I've got going on now.

[via Gawker]

The Internet loves awkward politics! And come on, so do you. That?s why this video of Rep. Nancy Elliott of New Hampshire discussing intercourse between two men will be the perfect way to start your Presidents Day!

Elliott?s description of gay sex is hilarious. I especially like her use of the word ?wiggling?. But my favorite part of this video is the blatant disregard the two people on either side of her are showing.

They are flipping through their papers as if this is a topic they cover every day. ?There goes Nancy. Describing butt sex again. Lame!"

"Move on, Elliott. This excrement talk is such a bore.?

I am so glad that politicians are finally using YouTube to connect with their constituents. I mean, for years we had to wait until commercial breaks to see all the awesome 5-minute attack ads. But thanks to technology and Internet-savvy Republicans, the wait is over.

Today?s fine piece of Monty Pythonesque work comes from Carly Fiorina, a Republican candidate for the Senate in California. Do yourself a favor and watch this all the way through.

You?ll probably think it?s a joke. But it?s not. Because there is nothing funny about politics. This is the real FCINO campaign. What?s FCINO you ask? It?s an acronym that stands for Fucking Crazy?something, something, something. I can't remember the rest.

[via Buzzfeed]

I don't want to get into a whole thing here.  This blog is a comedic take on the Internet, not on politics.

But I am glad a new generation of kids is entering into our country's political discourse.

I'd like to believe that somewhere out there is a car that has "PRO-LIFE 4 THE LULZ" written on the side of it.

[via Reddit]

Maybe I'm biased because I'm in California, but Arnold Schwarzenegger isn't just the most famous governor in the world. He's also the most famous person in the world. But I could be wrong. Leave your answers in the comments.

Here's where I found the original question. There are plenty more stupid questions where that came from.

Today is Ohio Congressman, perennial Presidential candidate, and all-around short dude Dennis Kucinich's 63rd birthday.

The event is being celebrated on his website with a happy birthday greeting on the front page under "Latest News."

If you click through, visitors have the opportunity to access a "Print version of this document."  This link will bring you to the very… um… official looking document that is reprinted above.

Seriously, guys?  This is the best you could do for the Congressman's birthday.  I mean, I know the big 6-3 is no major milestone, but couldn't you spruce that document up a little bit?  Maybe use a graphic that has been created during Kucinich's lifetime?

As far as birthday cards go, this thing is barely even fridge worthy.  I realize we want to cut government spending, but live a little, will ya?!

Maybe a nice Photoshopped pic of Kucinich sitting in the oval office would be a fun birthday gift?

This week's unclaimed domain:

EnoughingtonPost.com

.

I don't care if it has 22 million visitors and more backlinks than anyone. I don't care if Barak Obama and Hillary Clinton have written there. I've had enough of the Huffington Post.

Here are some potential concepts for EnoughingtonPost.com:

• A mock-up of the Huffington Post homepage style that actually links to Drudge Report items instead.
• A single-serving site that randomly redirects you to a print newspaper subscription order form.
• A J.Lo movie fan site.
• Or, just buy it and forward it to the Tosh.0 Blog.

Last week, I cheated. The unclaimed domain name was just too good. I couldn't let it enter the hands of some traffic-hoarding fool. So, I posted the unclaimed domain, gave it 45 minutes, and then pulled the trigger myself. I'm a domain name junkie, too! I'll get something on tmzzzz.com this weekend.

Vid or it didn't happen! Above: Proof that Senator Al Franken can draw a map of the United States entirely from memory. This clip is getting more coverage on the political blogs today than health care. Is it really that impressive? It seems that senators are so characterless and out-of-touch that all they have to do is draw the United States to be entertaining. Granted, this stunt was pulled at a state fair, where even agriculture is entertaining.

[via BuzzFeed]

Edited — thanks Pete.