porn

Here's what was big on Digg this weekend: An image called "Bing is for academics, while Google gets right to the point," comparing searches for "sex" on the two search engines. I think they just mean, "Google is for normal people." And you can tell that whoever posted this agrees — since every single link in the Google results is purple.

As Jezebel points out, this is a TV on top of a typewriter, but who cares. AT&T wasn't predicting the future, this chick was. She's right on point! Porn is the king of the internet and this chick knew it. I'm so impressed by her ability to foresee the fate of the web while wearing a negligee and typing on a fake computer.  How's my love life?  Better now.  Thanks old weird computer game ad.

Pee-wee Herman was on Jay Leno last night. More importantly, yesterday, he blasted out his first tweet. His account page even looks like his distinctive gray suit, minus the poor tailoring.

I guess Twitter is the closest he can get to "following" children without their parents' permission. Ha ha! [Imagine that part in the Pee-wee voice.]

Pee-wee held a little competition to accrue followers. It's already over, so I don't recommend following him. However, I must recommend following Conky the Robot, if only to stay on top of the Playhouse secret word of the day.

One random Tweeter, CouchFire, responded to the Pee-wee news with:

In honor of @peeweeherman's glorious comeback. I am going to attempt to "pet the legendary totem pole" to fruition, in a cinema tonight.

I like to imagine Pee-wee Tweeting back with, "@CouchFire I know you are but what am I?"

This screen grab being passed around the internet today is your typical reddit "Facebook status update including funny friend's commenting on that status"… blah blah blah. SEEN IT! But before take that screenshot you grabbed and start passing it around like it's the funniest thing this side of the Missisip, make sure you're not revealing that you're currently browsing porn while you chuckle at your silly new email fodder.  Like this girl:

The real mystery here is who is looking at the porn sites…the person who announced they were leaving the church on their FB status or the person who is trying to save her? Either way, they both need help.  Now the question is, what's more help?  The porn sites or the church ones?  Don't all yell it at once.

[via Reddit]

I always struggled with "works cited" pages when I was in school.  They were so technical and difficult; but then again, I didn't have the internet.  

Check out this dude's works cited page who just looked up his information on Google, Yahoo, and a NSFW porn site which will remain unnamed.  

"Please see me after class to discuss your paper…" is the exact opening line from one of the videos he "researched" on that inappropriate site, but I think his teacher wrote that, because otherwise it sounds like he should have gotten an "A." Well, for research at least. Read the whole paper HERE.

[via I Am Bored]

If you're into downloading child pornography onto your computer, I'm not going to use this blog to tell you how to do your job: You don't send some hot 13-year-old over to my office to tell me how to post blogs.

Still, here's a little helpful piece of advice I picked up while reading "Seattle 911: A Police Blog."  (Must read stuff from beginning to end, really.)

Don't say this when discussing your child pornography collection with police:

"I think I deleted all of it," Leon allegedly told police, according to police statements. "The only child porn stuff is the stuff downloading right now."

 I see what you did there…  You just earned yourself a decade in jail.

[via Reddit]

Before the internet, porn was not only more difficult to watch, but it was also more difficult to study. With the advent of new technologies, we now know the social impacts of watching porn. And they aren't that bad.

It's comforting to know that "respect from friends" and "girlfriend prospects" only approach zero and never actually reach it.

[via Reddit]

Gross. Stubble. She should try tweezing or waxing instead.

[via BuzzFeed]

This DIY porn kit will "bring some raunchy fun into your relationship" by helping you direct your own porn video. Everything you need is included. So, next time you ask your spouse to shoot a porn with you, "I'm no good at screenwriting" or "we don't have a clapboard" will be no excuse.

It's available on Overstock.com, which is surprising because that means someone else couldn't sell these things on the internet.

$25.99

.

Apple approved the first NSFW iPhone application: one that uses the vibrator as an actual vibrator. It’s free! With the release of the new iPhone 3G S this morning, long lines of Apple fanboys were already having orgasms without the app.

If you upgrade to the iPhone 3G S it'll enhance MyVibe (by MyPleasure) with extended battery life and a new finger-print-resistant coating. Gizmodo elaborated on the new 3.0 firmware's sexual potential.

[via Gizmodo]