porn

Around a year ago (or so it appears), YouTube user Can't Cope, Won't Cope began posting videos deemed "Porn Negative Space."

As far as Internet ideas are concerned, the concept is kind of like Garfield Minus Garfield.  He takes porn videos and removes everything that is actually pornographic about them.  This process consists of zooming into surrounding scenery, chopping the picture into smaller pieces, removing or replacing the audio, etc.

The video above just got released a couple days ago.  It cuts the four sides of a bed together while removing the humans (doing whatever it is they are doing — use your imagination, or don't) all together.

Yes, it's just a bed shaking around.

What's the point of all this?  The whole thing is probably just some strange artistic statement.  And like all artistic statements, it's probably because the dude who created it is f*cked up in the head.

He's a sick, sick man.  Seriously, keep him away from your children, or they could disappear, just like the porn stars from these videos.

[via GorillaMask]

This site isn't totally safe for work, but that's only if you're a nerd. It's "Moan My IP!" The website that moans — you guessed it — your I.P. address. I can't think of a higher level of dork porn. It's like getting a personalized porn for your laptop! For your actual laptop.

Here's their own explanation of the site:

Finding your IP Address is essential to understanding your Online Privacy. So why not make it fun and sexy? Personal Information about you and your computer is revealed to every Web Site that you visit. This information can be linked with other information and used for things like Identity Theft and other types of Cybercrime.

Right, guys. Cybercrime is WAY sexy, and your explanation makes no sense at all! But who cares? How could you justify a moaning woman's voice reading an I.P. address anyway?

No one ever questioned the pizza delivery guy porn plot, did they? Moan away, computer lady, because someone incredibly dorky out there is actually enjoying this.

Isn't browsing internet good enough on its own? Apparently, many Firefox users would disagree with me.

Firefox is known for its copious amount of add-ons that can enhance your browsing experience.  But if your idea of "enhancement" is loading up on 400 add-ons, you should consult one of your three dictionary toolbars to get a new definition of the word "enhance."  If you think slowing your browsing down to a stand-still is worth color-coding your browser tabs, you're nuts.

I'm game for a few tweaks, but if you're completely impeding my ability to look at web pages with sanity… then forget it. Beware of these ridiculous extensions that take add-on excess to a new level.

Add-On: Christian Anti-Porn

Description: "Flee sexual immorality (1Co 6:18). Christian Anti-Porn will filter links and alert the user if any porn websites are clicked. This will not block but warn every Christian that he is going to crucify Jesus Christ again if he proceeds to such websites."

Whoever developed this add-on has come across the ultimate anti-porn algorithm: God. I bet He'spretty mathematically sound.

When you visit a porn site, an alert window will "warn every Christian that he is going to crucify Jesus Christ again." That must be a pretty tough pill to swallow. In fact, those Christians will probably have to look at twice as much porn to keep it up after such a disturbing interruption.

See four more annoying add-ons after the jump… more...

You know you want to join the exciting world of Q-Tipping, America's hottest new fetish!

Need a Q-Tipping refresher?  Check out the above video where Daniel introduces the hot new trend at this year's AdultCon.  Then visit the website: www.qtipping.com.

Now that you've got the hang of it, submit your own Q-Tipping videos via the uploader below.

BUT BE TASTEFUL. Tosh.0 is a family show.  Not your family, a normal family.

Actually, it's not that much of a family show, we just don't want to see your disgusting dirty laundry splayed out all over our computer screens, alright. So NO NUDITY. Our blur guys are still recovering from Demi Moore.

Now upload away!

Here's what was big on Digg this weekend: An image called "Bing is for academics, while Google gets right to the point," comparing searches for "sex" on the two search engines. I think they just mean, "Google is for normal people." And you can tell that whoever posted this agrees — since every single link in the Google results is purple.

As Jezebel points out, this is a TV on top of a typewriter, but who cares. AT&T wasn't predicting the future, this chick was. She's right on point! Porn is the king of the internet and this chick knew it. I'm so impressed by her ability to foresee the fate of the web while wearing a negligee and typing on a fake computer.  How's my love life?  Better now.  Thanks old weird computer game ad.

Pee-wee Herman was on Jay Leno last night. More importantly, yesterday, he blasted out his first tweet. His account page even looks like his distinctive gray suit, minus the poor tailoring.

I guess Twitter is the closest he can get to "following" children without their parents' permission. Ha ha! [Imagine that part in the Pee-wee voice.]

Pee-wee held a little competition to accrue followers. It's already over, so I don't recommend following him. However, I must recommend following Conky the Robot, if only to stay on top of the Playhouse secret word of the day.

One random Tweeter, CouchFire, responded to the Pee-wee news with:

In honor of @peeweeherman's glorious comeback. I am going to attempt to "pet the legendary totem pole" to fruition, in a cinema tonight.

I like to imagine Pee-wee Tweeting back with, "@CouchFire I know you are but what am I?"

This screen grab being passed around the internet today is your typical reddit "Facebook status update including funny friend's commenting on that status"… blah blah blah. SEEN IT! But before take that screenshot you grabbed and start passing it around like it's the funniest thing this side of the Missisip, make sure you're not revealing that you're currently browsing porn while you chuckle at your silly new email fodder.  Like this girl:

The real mystery here is who is looking at the porn sites…the person who announced they were leaving the church on their FB status or the person who is trying to save her? Either way, they both need help.  Now the question is, what's more help?  The porn sites or the church ones?  Don't all yell it at once.

[via Reddit]

I always struggled with "works cited" pages when I was in school.  They were so technical and difficult; but then again, I didn't have the internet.  

Check out this dude's works cited page who just looked up his information on Google, Yahoo, and a NSFW porn site which will remain unnamed.  

"Please see me after class to discuss your paper…" is the exact opening line from one of the videos he "researched" on that inappropriate site, but I think his teacher wrote that, because otherwise it sounds like he should have gotten an "A." Well, for research at least. Read the whole paper HERE.

[via I Am Bored]

If you're into downloading child pornography onto your computer, I'm not going to use this blog to tell you how to do your job: You don't send some hot 13-year-old over to my office to tell me how to post blogs.

Still, here's a little helpful piece of advice I picked up while reading "Seattle 911: A Police Blog."  (Must read stuff from beginning to end, really.)

Don't say this when discussing your child pornography collection with police:

"I think I deleted all of it," Leon allegedly told police, according to police statements. "The only child porn stuff is the stuff downloading right now."

 I see what you did there…  You just earned yourself a decade in jail.

[via Reddit]