Tosh.0 Blog

The Most Environmentally-Friendly Way To Torment a Pedophile

Posted by: Matt Koff | November 21, 2012 at 10:00AM

This kid is either really poor or the next Marc Jacobs.

[via Poorly Dressed]

Selena Gomez's Life Was, Like, Super Hard

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | August 15, 2011 at 2:00PM

You think dollar store spaghetti is bad, listen to this horror mentioned in the article:

"Sometimes Selena didn't even know if she would be able to get home from school. 'My mom would run out of gas all the time,' she says."

But these are the decisions you have to make when you live in "poverty."  Should I pay for my car insurance or should I pay for gas?  They're both very expensive, but they are two things you must have.

Life was equally terrible for her mom, Mandy:

"'I would get up at six in the morning, get Selena ready for school, drop her off, and then go to [my classes] from there.  We did that every day,' Mandy said."

Holy shit!  Every day.  Come on, school!  Why are you starting at a normal time like every other school??

Reading this story, you get the feeling that, at times, it almost seemed like Selena would never realize her dreams of dating Justin Bieber and vacationing in paradise.  Luckily, she persevered.

And luckily for us, we've learned two valuable lessons for success here: Never ride the bus and never sleep in on a workday.  Wisdom to live by, really.

Oh, and also don't forget, you too can eat spaghetti and make something out of your life.  Who'd have thought??

[via I Am Bored]