Pregnant

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• A grown ass man got stuck in a high chair and had to call 911. PS his friends left him there.
• This clip from HBO's Real Sex is one of those WOW moments. I've played it ten times already.
• A drunk angry guy cut off his penis to get back at his girlfriend. Sound logic.
• Tobias Funke in The Shining. This scene still makes me want to pee my cutoffs.
• Girls in and around water is all kinds of sexy! Stay hydrated, kids.
• 'Follow me/Bring beer' sandals. I should say both of those things to potential suitors.
• Kim Kardashian's pregnant feet are- AHHHH.
• A Papa John's delivery guy was busted for delivering $40,000 worth of cocaine. Did he include the garlic sauce??
• Dharma eats spaghetti. Is the singular for spaghetti still spaghetti? She eats ONE spaghetti.
• Justin Bieber has 24 hours to claim his monkey, is definitely not going to.
• A dude rubbed his dick on some pepperoni in a grocery store because why not?
• Bonus Link: Mama June's portrait, which to be honest reminds me of Kim Kardashian's pregnant feet.

[photo via Gawker]

You've reached a new low when you're about to beat your child with a hot dog.

[via The Chive]

For those of you who are looking to get married and have a C-section in the same night.

[via Wedding Bee, a great find by my newly engaged sister]

A hundred mothers who dropped their daughters off in Red Wings jerseys are sobbing uncontrollably right now.

[via Failblog]

Amish people have the weirdest ultra sounds.

[via I am Bored]

Albert Einstein once said, "Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better."

It doesn't apply here, but he did say it.

[via Imgur]

According to The Huffington Post, a Washington man was arrested for pointing a handgun at a pregnant woman because she was smoking a cigarette. He then rescued a cat from a tree by setting a forest fire.

Oh so I do have a choice? Cool 'cause I thought you were gonna lock me in your basement or some shit.

[via Failblog]

Featuring some of the latest Twitter and Facebook comments about Tosh.0.

Try getting a C-section, bitch.

Make sure you cut it below the bikini line.

[via Lamebook]