printer

Featuring some of the latest Twitter and Facebook comments about Tosh.0.

Yeah geez! We all know laughter is the printer's Kryptonite.

Reminding us of that age old question: Which is worse, living through a zombie apocalypse or having a job?

[via The High Definite]

Some people call it gross.  I call it "multitasking."

[via EPICponyz]

In the future, will you be able to "print" a hamburger from a link you found on McDonalds.com?

If lazy scientists have their way, the answer will be "yes."

That's what a group at Cornell University are working on.  You load up some "edible food 'inks'" and print out tasty treats such as "chocolates, cookies, and even domes of turkey meat" — at least that's what they've accomplished so far.

I greatly look forward to a future where my "milk" cartridge runs out so I have to print my coffee black, or where my computer loses communication with my printer so I starve.

And I find it hard to believe this would be cheaper than just ordering in delivery.  Have you seen ink prices recently?  If a cartridge of plain black ink runs as much as $20, I'd probably be paying more than the price of a meal just to get a new cartridge of gravy!

Then you'd have to worry about viruses.  I visit the wrong porn site and suddenly my meatloaf tastes funny!

And with that joke, I retire.  Meatloaf.

[via Eater]

It's like that scene from Office Space…

Except it's in a British accent, so it's like watching the original British version of The Office…

Except it stars a cat, so it's lame…

So it's like watching the original British version of The Office.

[via Urlesque]

Whether you've earned your degree from Phoenix online college or Harvard, you've earned a BRAND NEW EPISODE of Tosh.0 TONIGHT at 10p/9c on Comedy Central!

Via CreativeCloud, we find some interesting statistics about "If You Printed The Internet…"

As the above stat informs us: "If you printed the Internet, reading it would take 57,000 years, 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week, non-stop."

Unfortunately, CreativeCloud doesn't cite where these statistics came from, so we have no way of knowing what the hell they are talking about.  I mean, think about these factors…

• How long does it take to "read" a picture with the word "FAIL" superimposed across it?
• Are we including vlog transcripts or would I just have to read the descriptions?
• Would I be forced to read the results of all of the world's fantasy football leagues?
• Can I use Google Translate to read foreign web pages?  (If I had to translate by hand using a dictionary, that could really slow me down.)

As you can see, CreativeCloud's assertions are questionable at best.

Plus, everyone knows the Internets aren't for readings, they're for lookings!

A harmonica cannot play itself (that's either too meta or a perpetual motion machine). Clearly, this is not a self-playing harmonica — this is a harmonica-playing vacuum cleaner.

In fact, it's barely that. Isn't "audible sound" one of the requirements of music? If there was even a chance that I could hear the harmonica over the 1990s inkjet, the giant machine that's trying to suck every particle out of the room certainly prevents that.

[via The Presurfer]