Bar Cheerleader - Uncensored
Posted: 03/12/13
Total Views: 187,332
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Dear Mila Kunis,
Sgt. Scott Moore, of the 3rd Battalion 2nd Marines in Musa Qala, Afghanistan, would like to take you to the Marine Corps Ball in North Carolina on November 18th.
You can answer Scott at gowithmemila@gmail.com.
P.S. Just rewatched "Date Night" and you were very funny in that. Now do the fucking right thing.
Love,
Everyone
[via The DW]
Say please. Keep your shoelaces tied. Wash your hands. Don't tell lies. Buckle up. Don't go swimming for 30 minutes after you eat. Respect your elders. Don't steal.
These are important lessons we all learn early on in life. And as we go into adulthood, we take these lessons with us.
But there are some things our parents and teachers don't explicitly warn us about. And we have to learn those lessons the hard way.
For example, don't propose in public unless you're pretty sure she'll say yes. And don't propose in a mall food court unless you're pretty sure she's blind and deaf and can't tell where you are.
Lessons learned.
[via Urlesque]
Look, here's the deal…
Your dad was lying to you about underage drinking, marijuana, all hallucinogenics, sex, masturbation, pornography, prostitutes, sports gambling, table gaming, poker, public urination and church…
BUT THIS ONE YOU SHOULD TRUST HIM ON!
[via Reddit]
Their kids are going to look exactly like the Green Giant.
[via Sports Break]
He loves you. But he doesn't want you and can live without you. It's the non-dump falling, non-hand cutting, not-forever-lasting type of love.
But does he love you enough to give you the shirt off his back? Probably. I mean, he'd still have another! Ba-dum ching!
His love for you is slightly undermined by his love for that location ? which sucks. I'm just saying… he loves you, he loves the dump. He thinks you are as beautiful as the dump.
MARRY HIM ALREADY!
[via Reddit]
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