rapture

Yesterday, Harold Camping finally sat down to speak with reporters about what happened to his now infamous rapture prediction.

The most telling moment is around the 30 second mark when Harold openly admits with a laugh that "I'm not a…  I'm not a genius."

No shit.

[via The Daily What]

Welp. We're all still here. Unraptured.

And no one is taking it harder than Harold Camping, who now knows what it feels like to be stood up by Jesus.

It's his loss, Harold. It's his loss.

[via reddit]

Whoa!  No one told me STEVE WOHLBERG thinks I'm going to be fine.

Why the hell was I wasting my time listening to that Harold Camping nutjob!?

I'm glad the NY Daily News has brought this to my attention.  And lucky me I spent my last day on Earth reading the NY Daily News!

To think I was moments away from giving all my worldly possessions to charity!

Imagine how silly I'd have felt if I happened upon this new revelation from Steve Wohlberg after giving all my possessions to charity!?  I would have been red in the face.

Thank you, NY Daily News, for printing this article.  You've been more of a savior than a million Jesuses.

[On a serious note, whether you're Team Harold or Team Steve, it's never a bad time to give to charities like the Red Cross.  You can find more details on how to donate here.]

[via NY Daily News]

Spammers have it all wrong.  Don't waste time sending out millions of B.S. emails and expect to rip off a few unsuspecting people.  Set up a B.S. website and let the suckers come to you.

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA is "a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward."  Your reward, of course, is being saved from Earth before the Rapture.

Let's continue: "Our service is plain and simple.  For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment up to two (2) pets per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee."

This company provides AMAZING service.  You can even pay immediately via PayPal on their website!  Or you can just send your money to me, and I'll make sure it gets to them.  Honest to God.

And to think I've been wasting my time with Google AdSense.  Garbage!