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Watch three different full episodes every Tuesday.
Has Daniel made it? You Decide!
See Daniel doing stand-up live on tour and be forever changed. Buy tickets now!
Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke in the comments.
..But mostly because I had a giant shell on my back.
While all of you are watching Batman, I'll be watching Spiderman. Because I babysit him.
Titanic is not real.† No real person would ever want to sleep with Kate Winslet.
I'd rather not pay for a cab when that Legit Van Full Of Candy in front of you is offering rides for free.
As the seller explains:
"I have been doing research on the best ways to fart in a container and have the smell be just as potent as a fresh fart. So not to give you all my details it starts in the tub. That way I am able to capture a fairly pure fart uncontaminated by atmospheric air….† (I have tested farts up to two weeks and they are still 100% potent as the first fart.)"
This girl is such an idiot.
Think long term!† You don't want to be farting in jar after jar for the rest of your life.† But if you wrote a book on fart preservation, you could earn residuals off that one book for years to come.
Give a man a rotten fish and he smells for a day.† Teach a man to rot fish and†he smells for a†lifetime.
Fairies and vampires and werepanthers, oh my! These aren't just mostly naked characters in "True Blood". They are REAL. And this video proves it.
Josť Maldonado (somehow not one of the six Josť Maldonados I went to middle school with) found a real, living fairy in Guadalajara:†?I was picking guavas and I saw a twinkling. I thought it was a firefly. I picked it up and felt that it was moving; when I looked at it I knew that it was a fairy godmother.?
What did he do, you ask? Did he name it Sookie and give it a job at the only restaurant in town? NO. HE MURDERED IT.
"You killed my fairy godmother!"?Line from an HBO show delivered by an actress that has an Oscar
Sexy Tinkerbell didn't last long on Earth but that's because she went to Mexico. Hopefully other supernatural creatures will show themselves soon in the gardens of a less murder-friendly place.
One of the top topics on Reddit right now is the conversation seen above: "Since there are about 20 websites that can generate fake Facebook conversation/status updates, can we stop upvoting them to the front page?"
No.† No, we can't.† Just because something is "fake" doesn't mean it's not awesome!
You know what else is fake.† Hollywood.† And I live for Hollywood.† Television isn't real.† Movies aren't real.† Avatar was certainly not "real" at all.
Would you make the argument that just because John McClane isn't a real person they should stop making Die Hard movies?† That just because there are about 20 screenwriters who can think of ridiculous ways for everyman police officer John McClane to find himself at the center of international terrorist plots for no good reason whatsoever, they should stop creating movies that kick so much ass??
Hell no!† I'll upvote fake crap over real crap every day of the week!
This past weekend, I spent a good three hours playing Mega Man 10, and I'm about to turn 31 years old.† Downvote!† That's real life.† Real life sucks.
You remember Rageguy, right?† The angry face at the end of so many poorly drawn MS Paint cartoons about simple problems?
Well here's a a cartoon for you:
Pane #1: You enjoy reading FFFFUUUUUU guy cartoons.
Pane #2: You see that someone has created an image of themselves as Rageguy.† That could be fun.
Pane #3: You look at it.† It's the creepiest looking thing you've ever seen and now you can never look at Rageguy cartoons the same way.
Pane #4: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
[via The Daily What]
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