reality

The first step is admitting you have a bird on your head.

[via Acid Cow]

Every week we see countless comments that have nothing to do with anything. Our favorite this week came from Heywood Inappropriatelastname in response to the The Evelyn Trammell Institute for Voice and Swallowing.

The truth is irrelevant.

That's from the X-Files, right?

Why am I not surprised that people on reality shows constantly say they're not here to make friends?

Reality show contestants have a warped sense of what reality actually is.  They think that going on a reality show is one of the better ways to achieve your personal or career goals.

Want a job?  Get it on a reality show.  Need a mate?  Try a dating show.

What they haven't learned is that the rest of world already has a plan for meeting new people, finding work and achieving any goals they may have set for themselves.  It's called "having FRIENDS."

Maybe if all these reality show people suddenly did decide to be "here to make friends," life would be a lot smoother for them.

Haven't you ever listened to The Beatles?  Or at least Joe Cocker?  Or watched The F*cking Wonder Years for God's sake?!?!?"

[via Videogum]

If you ever find yourself in this situation, make sure you ask for whatever show it is you're on to hide your identity like this guy did!  You don't want to spend the rest of your life as the "sex with a pinata" guy.

Or, better yet, you could just never admit to having had sex with a pinata.  Yeah, on second thought, I think that is the best option.  Keep those meth-fueled mistakes between you and a violated pile of candy.

[via juliasegal]