reality tv

Wake me when they get to the swimsuit competition.

[via Gawker]

On the next episode of "Say Yes To The Pants", Chad's crash diet turns him into a total brozilla. Tune in to that channel that keeps putting horrible people on television!

[via Stuff]

Do you hate your bangs? Because you should.

And if you don't, then you haven't watched enough Tosh.0. Three or four episodes of bang-bashing in a row and any sane person would be pinning those bad boys back.

Anyway, good news, brave bang-havers! You can be on a national TV show! A TV show dedicated to hating bangs!

That's pretty much like being on Tosh.0. Dreams do come true for the ugly!

[via Buzzfeed]

I think we can all agree that people named Kesha are THE COOLEST.

[via Videogum]

If you don't watch Tosh Tuesday, this guy is going to call you and
"apologize". In other words, you'll be sorry.

Four episodes of Tosh.0 start TONIGHT at 8pm. Tune in, slut.

[via Buzzfeed]

In September I told you about what will undoubtedly be the absolute greatest reality television show of all time, "Bridalplasty". Well, now there's a preview.

Holy f**k, you guys. This exists. This is our world. And we are so freaking lucky to live it in!

We've literally thrown all decency and pride out the window.

It's 20fucking10. Pee in public! Compete for plastic surgery! Be a sports star who sends people pictures of his dick!

Literally do whatever you want?as long as the rest of us get to see it.

[via Videogum]

To promote his run for mayor of Wasilla, Levi Johnston appeared on The Last Word where Lawrence O'Donnell asked him the same questions Katie Couric asked Sarah Palin way back when.

My favorite part of the interview came when O'Donnell asked Levi his stance on the morning-after pill: "That's a girl's decision. Same with abstinence. I don't believe in abstinence. I feel like if you're having unprotected sex, you get the girl pregnant, you should have the baby."

Ah, yes. The ol' abortion/abstinence mix up. I do the same thing with the words condoms and condiments. Turns out you can only get one of them in the McDonald's drive-thru.

(Condoms.)

[via Mediaite]

My big problem with any wedding is always the bride. Every time I go to one I'm all like, "This is beautiful. Great apps. But why are you marrying that beast?!?"

Obviously, I think exactly like the producers at E! because they've ordered a news series that combines wedding-themed competitions and…plastic surgery! The Hollywood Reporter explains:

Each week, a group of women competes head-to-head in such challenges as writing wedding vows and planning honeymoons. The winner receives the chance to choose a plastic surgery procedure from her ?wish list.? She?s given the procedure immediately, and results are shown at the start of the following week?s episode.

I believe Oscar Wilde said it best when he said*, "That sounds like a fucking brilliant TV show."

*Not an actual Oscar Wilde quote

"Teach: Tony Danza" is an A&E show premiering October 1st about Tony Danza's experience teaching high school students in Philadelphia.

After 30 years doing everything a person can possibly do on television, Tony Danza has left show business to pursue a career teaching on television.

The television audience is really going to miss him. But at least viewers of television will get to see him star in a new TV show.

[via Warming Glow]

$5,000,000 ÷ How Much You'll Make in 2010 = Reason Why No One Will Blame You For Murdering Him

[via THR]