recap

Talking cats in Potter glasses! Someone get me my fainting couch!

The newest and last installment of Harry Potter comes out today. In case you don't exactly remember the details of the orphan's life to date, these cats will help you brush up on things.

You can add cats to anything and the Internet will automatically love it. It's the opposite of what happens when you add Ashton Kutcher to things.

[via The DW]

When If the sportscaster thing doesn't work out, you could always be a bodyguard.

[via TBT]

Did we need a 120-second rap about the movie "Dazed and Confused"?

No. Of course not.

But if the Internet was made up of things we needed, then we would need some very weird things.

[via TBT]

Many of you took our challenge to post images of yourselves in Tosh.0 Halloween costumeson our Facebook wall.  It was tough randomly picking the ones I liked to show here, but I did it anyway.

Though, technically, there are no winners and losers, the real winners are the people who submitted photos and the losers are the rest of you.  Regardless, I hope you all had a great Halloween weekend.

Now let's get into the costume recap:

John's photo (seen above) is the closest we came to a true Daniel Tosh look-a-like.  The "Hello, My Name Is" sticker is a little on the nose and the V certainly could be deeper, but the pose is dead on and he's got the kind of looks discriminating TV viewers demand.  You got a future in Hollywood, kid!  A

See 11 other submissions after the jump… more...

Want a recap of what happened in tonight's show?  It's all right here:

• This week's Web Redemption was the Peter Pan Fail Girls
• This week's Video Breakdown discussed the joys of drunk shooting
• This week's 20 Seconds on the Clock featured a fat baby
• Daniel showed us how he spends his time with prop comic Carrot Top
• And we wrapped things up by letting you guess what Daniel did to Nathan
• Want to submit your own video? Do it here!

Finally, check out every single clip from this week's show in this week's raw clips guide.

You voted and now you know.  Bowling shirts will be going against Ugly Sweaters and Mesh Shirts will face Fruit Costumes.

Final Four Casual Bracket voting opens tomorrow!  Will you be ready?!  Check out the bracket to see the match ups and then come back to the blog tomorrow to vote!

Round 1 has come to an end, and what an amazing four days it was!

We received over 17,000 votes per poll for a whopping 139,000+ total votes.  I don't think Montana does that well in their gubernatorial election.

What happened?  Well, first, let's look at a couple blow outs.

Jumpsuits was the biggest winner, clobbering Raincoats by a 76% to 24% margin.  They'll be taking on another big winner in the second round, Fruit Costumes, which beat up on the much heralded Wetsuits to the tune of over 5,000 votes.

In our closest battle, surprisingly Bowling Shirts edged out Sweater Vests by just 284 votes.  Sweater Vests received a lot of nominations, but turns out people just couldn't resist seeing Daniel in turquoise.  In what's sure to be an interesting 2nd round match up, Bowling Shirt will face Hawaiian Shirts, which soundly defeated Argyle — proving once again that no one is a winner when they're wearing argyle.

In a monster upset for fashion, Ugly Sweaters had a 32 percentage point victory over Formal Jackets.  Turns out our stylist was right: People aren't ready to see a formal Daniel Tosh yet.  But voting did Daniel's favorite team proud, as Sports Jerseys edged out Track Jackets by just under 2,000 votes, probably with a little support from Miami fans.

Lastly, Metal Tees took down my personal favorite Starter Jackets by a slim margin, 327 votes, though I don't think anything is more metal than rockin' an old school Starter Jacket!  We'll see if Slayer is ready to kick some ass against Mesh Shirts in the next round, as the slightly see-through top beat up on Bathrobes by a 20% margin.  Metal vs. Mesh is sure to be an epic battle.

And that's it.  Your 1st round winners and loser and your 2nd round match ups.

SEE THE FULL BRACKET HERE.

And then check back tomorrow at noon for the start of 2nd round voting!  It's down to our elite eight articles of clothing…

Alright, alright…  Maybe I was a little too hard on our Olympians during my first Tosh.0 Olympic Recap.

Since that time, some people I have actually heard of have won gold…

There's the hot chick who stuck her ass up in the air on the cover of Sports Illustrated and the red-haired freak who I saw on 60 Minutes because I am an old man who gets all my snowboarding news from 60 Minutes.

Hooray!  Isn't this awesome!?  The hot chick and the red-headed freak won medals!  Maybe we should have them mate and create a super-race of hot, red-haired Eskimos with good balance!

Where's that sarcasm mark?

And for the record, I still don't know who Apolo Anton Ohno is and I don't care!  Learn to move that fast on land!

The Winter Olympics — the only Olympics for habitual pot smokers — went on all weekend long.  That's right: All… weekend… long….

If you're like me (and you should hope to God you're not), all you watched of it was a few brief glimpses of Ladies' Moguls Freestyle Skiing on a big screen between sets at Brooklyn Bowl waiting for Cheeseburger to start playing.  (I'm a hipster; you get the point.)

But honestly, how many of you watched any more of the Olympics than I did?  Above are the 8 people who have won medals as of writing time.  Of those eight, the only person I recognize is Bode Miller, who is best known for NOT winning medals.

I can sum up my Winter Olympic Recap in one word: BLARG.

"Blarg" being a new demonstration sport: I'm sure no one will care about it either.

1. I want to know as much information as possible.
2. I don?t want to devote any time to that goal.

On the internet, those two conflicting ideals find harmony in recaps, mash-ups and spoilers. Urlesque put together a list of wrap-up videos, calling it a wrap-up of wrap-ups. Theoretically, you could watch all of these cliff notes and know everything there is to know! Here?s what they cover:

• Music
• Visual effects
• The Big Lebowski
• The 2008 presidential race
• Battlestar Galactica
• The Sopranos
• Church History
• Western Philosophy
• First-person shooters
• Space travel
• Modern warfare
• The past decade
• Inspirational speeches

There are a lot of knowledge gaps in there. This must be what it?s like to be home-schooled.

But the other major flaw: all of these videos add up to about an hour?s worth of material! All that time just to get a half-assed perspective on a dozen random aspects of American culture? That?s why I?d like to do a wrap-up of their wrap-up of wrap-ups:

Billie Jean is the most over-played song ever. CGI always looked like garbage. The Big Lebowski is mostly f-bombs. Obama won. (Battlestar Galactica isn?t worth spending a sentence on.) There are too many characters in The Sopranos. …and in Church History. Plato is the only philosopher ever. ?They may take our lives, but they may never take our freedom."

There you go.  I just boiled the history of civilization down to one paragraph.