receipt

Last Thursday, we showed you "Dog gives receipt" and asked you to give us a better title.

We picked five of our favorites and now it's your chance to vote on a winner.

Vote below! Then check back Thursday for the results and a new video.

This video is called "Dog gives receipt."  I know you guys love making those bitch jokes.  Let's do it again!

Think you got a funnier name for this video? Let us know in the comments! Then check back on Tuesday at noon for the vote off!

It was a tight battle this week in Rename This Video Vote — possibly because all the choices were terrible.  But, regardless, a winner must be crowned!  You guys voted for Stephanie Augustine's title, "The football equivalent of making your kid smoke a whole carton of cigarettes."  It's funny because smoking a whole carton of cigarettes is not a good lesson for your child and neither is this!  Congrats, Stephanie!

8.1% sales tax???  This is why I take all my prostitution needs to Thailand.

But in case you were wondering, this is fake.  You can tell because a "Happy Ending" costs way more than $50.

[via Reddit]

So that's why Jews never discovered Jesus…  They can afford to shop at nicer places.

The couple who found the receipt said it has special meaning because they had just returned from a church service about "if you know God would you realize, like, would you realize it if you saw him."  Which is crazy because I just read an interview with Joan Osborne where she said the original chorus to "One of Us" was "What if God was a Walmart receipt."

[via The Daily What]

Eh, I don't need to know my balance. I've got something like ninety nine million, eight hundred thousand or so.

Give or take a BMW.

[via imgur]

The other day I was at a nice restaurant (I know, I know, I make too much money) and I bit into a mushroom truffle pizza and pulled a rubber band out of my mouth. Because of that tiny piece of elastic, I got a free pizza, free drinks, and a free dessert.

Moral of the story?

BRING A RUBBER BAND WITH YOU TO NICE DINNERS.

Or, if you're going to IHOP, just bring a hair.

[via reddit]

If you had gone through a normal check out line, you could have told the cashier you were buying all this stuff as a gag gift for a bachelorette party.

But since you decided to be all secretive about it, we have no choice but to assume you are a perv.

[via AmyOops]

Never has an "A for effort" been so deserved.

[via TBT]