recipe

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• Cookie tacos beg the question: should you dunk them in horchata?
• Gary Busey tells us how to have sex in trees. Thanks, but I could just ask a squirrel.
• Man Vs Wild producer got a snake bite and OHMYGODHOLYFUCK
• Here's lingerie model Erin Heatherton, who will never be your girlfriend
• This weather blooper reminds me a lot of when Ashlee Simpson was on SNL
• The Korean masturbating teacher is probably fired
• A missed connection at the Grilled Cheese Invitational is pretty gouda
• 19 medical emergencies only Yahoo! Answers can solve. Lots of things going up buttholes.
• A leopard vs a piņata proves that all species enjoy fiestas Mexicanas
• And in case you somehow completely missed the best post ever, here's Small Dad.

[photo via sheknows]

He is the 99 cent.

[via imgur]

Do you guys want the recipe for Pizza Cupcakes? OF COURSE YOU DO.

Because an adult can't eat Pizza Rolls for every meal.

[Kirbie's Cravings via Buzzfeed]

Every week we see countless comments that have nothing to do with anything. Our favorite this week came from David Mayer in response to the Ninja vs. Plastic Container video.

In my mind, ninjas and coleslaw go together like Steven Tyler and American Idol. As in, not at all.

Why is he on that show? So random.

Anyway! KFC has a perfectly balanced coleslaw recipe:

Now that we know exact measurements, we can focus on more relevant topics. Like the motherf***ing backyard ninja.

I can't even look at the pictures of the Thanksgiving Turkey Cake on Chow without gagging.

Layers of ground turkey, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and cranberry sauce topped with marshmallows make up this monstrosity of a Thanksgiving dish.

If ground turkey and sour cream mashed potatoes iced with cranberry sauce doesn't stop your annoying neighbor from guilting you into attending her Thanksgiving dinner, then nothing will.

Tell Mrs. Henderson I said hi.

Daniel created his very own cocktail, the Toshtini.

Yum! Now head to the bar and order a Toshtini tonight!

What a brilliant idea, Matt! Too bad we beat you to it.

This week's audience was served a tasty, homemade snack straight from Daniel's favorite recipe book! And boy did it look and smell scrumptious. (I refused to eat it. Because I'm smarter than that.)

Wondering what delicious treat they enjoyed?

Then tune in TONIGHT at 10:30pm / 9:30c on Comedy Central!

And check back here after the show for information on how to buy your own copy of the recipe book, the first featured in the Tosh.0 Book Club!

This is a 14-minute omelet fail. I don't know if you have the patience or the time to watch 14 minutes worth of YouTube, but I must honestly tell you that this is so worth it. Every moment of this video is worth it.

It's not just an omelet how-to. It's a story.

First, you're thinking, "This hovel is disgusting." Then, you're thinking, "This guy is weird." And then he explains how to make egg whites in the most absurd manner you have ever seen in your life.

That's only the beginning. Wait till you see where he keeps his egg beater.

To complete the experience, check out part 2 after the jump… more...

If you think this is bad, you should see how they make hot dogs.

One of the editors over at BuzzFeed tacked up this video the other day. It's a recipe walkthrough for probably the most disgusting macaroni salad I've ever seen. The ingredients are pretty gross, but I've got a better idea for a viral video: How about someone eating this macaroni salad? Oh wait, that happens four minutes in.

I wonder how many people watch this video past the "pint of mayonnaise" instruction — because that means they might actually intend on making this dangerous macaroni salad. Nothing in this world should have a pint of mayonnaise in it unless it needs to kill a whole village.