records

"Spoonman" as performed by Mexican cover band, Soundgardener.

We received hundreds of comments in our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.

After looking at your likes, we picked the caption above from a comment left by Brad Lerch.

Don't like it? See other top captions by checking out the comments from Monday's post.

Thanks to everyone who submitted! Come back next Monday at 4pm for another edition.

And remember: To enter our next Tosh.0 Caption Challenge using your phone, and to sign up for alerts whenever the latest caption challenge begins, text PUKE to 44686. To cancel, text END to 44686.

"You're doing this now!?  I just poured myself a bowl of Cheerios."

Think you have a better caption for this image? Post your own joke about this picture in the comments. Then check back Friday at noon when we'll post our favorite!

And help us choose our favorite by liking the captions you think are best. We'll take your likes into consideration when making our pick.

On a mobile device? Go here.

[photo: Vano Shlamov/Stringer/AFP/Getty Images]

Last Thursday, we showed you "World's Fastest Bottle Opener" and asked you to give us a better title.

We picked five of our favorites and now it's your chance to vote on a winner.

Vote below! Then check back this Thursday for the results and a new video.

This video is called "World's Fastest Bottle Opener."  I figured we're on a college campus right now, those alcoholics know a little something about opening bottles.

Think you got a funnier name for this video? Let us know in the comments! Then check back on Tuesday at noon for the vote off!

The winner of this week's Rename This Video Vote was Aaron Florian with his title, "Two hours of foreplay for a seven second climax."  It's funny because its a SEX JOKE.  Woop-woop!  Congratulations, Aaron!

This video of the shortest possible game of Monopoly has been gaining a lot of attention on the Internet recently.

Two guys actually sat down and planned the whole thing out beforehand and then staged what the theoretical event might look like.

I'd like to believe that this is the shortest possible game of Monopoly.  I really would.  But I envision a shorter game:

Someone asks me if I want to play a game of Monopoly.  I proclaim, "F' that shit" and crack the Monopoly board over their skull.

Estimated game time: 3 seconds.  Winner: Everyone.

[via BuzzFeed]

For everyone who has yet to understand that the point of a blog is to be pointless, let this be exhibit A.

Larry Granillo, blogging for Wezen-Ball.com (my favorite nonsensically named baseball blog), has compiled the records for all of Charlie Brown's baseball teams.

And I'm not talking about Charles Edward Brown who apparently "started 4 games for the Cleveland Spiders in 1897."  I'm talking about the cartoon character.  From the Peanuts comic strip.  He owned Snoopy.

Why would someone want to do this?  I have absolutely no idea.  And I am a BIG Peanuts fan.  Back in elementary school while all the other kids were getting laid, I collected Peanuts books.  I loved them.  I often found them for fifteen cents at the local Paperback Trader.  Fifteen cents was a lot of money back in 1988.  My memories of history may be hazy and flawed.

But even as a Peanuts fan, this whole thing doesn't particularly interest me.  However, I applaud him nonetheless… as much as I would applaud someone who counted how many times Garfield ate lasagna or how many times Mary Worth was raped.

Because, as I said at the beginning, the point of a blog should be pointlessness.  Where else can this sort of information be disseminated?  The, quote, "traditional news media", unquote, doesn't care how many times fictional, retired comic strip characters achieved meaningless goals.  Only the Internet concerns itself with such matters.

So concern on Internet!  Concern on!

[via The Daily What]

People are willing to do anything to get money attention fame a world record recognition.  Take this guy who watched the sitcom friends for 84 consecutive hours to break the previous tv-watching record while raising money for his education.  Because he's an actor!  How perfect.  What better way to become a great actor then by studying "Friends."  You can see his log, his picture log and of course, donate money to this worthy cause on the site he set up, Friends-A-Thon.com.

He said, 'I love Friends, but this did indeed hurt. At around 72 hours I wanted to die.' Die!?  
I'm shocked!
From the brilliant acting?!  I'm insulted.  And to show how insulted I am, I'll watch 84 consecutive hours of "Friends" for free, dammit.  

I won't.  But I will ask my hairdresser to give me 'The Rachel' next time I go in for a haircut.

[via Daily Mail]