request

Jeremy's thinking of a more subdued television show where people enter rooms and say things. On Tosh.0, we run into rooms and yell them.

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DEAR RYAN,

NO.

Evan

[via Reddit]

Like most people, I'm concerned that someone will attempt to hijack my carefully constructed image by creating a fake Twitter account that apes my identity and claims to detail my most intimate thoughts.

Before this inevitably happens, I figured I'd just nip the whole problem in the bud by sending in a request for Twitter to verify my account.

Imagine my horror when I received back the email above.

Declined?!  They are having some "problems with my verification request"?  I suppose it contradicts the entire point of me having my account verified, but who the heck would pretend to be me?!?

Oh, I get it.  I guess Mr. Michael Pomranz, with his paltry 138 followers, isn't worthy of having a verified account!  I bet I'm such an unimportant plebe that everyone over at Twitter got a nice chuckle at my expense that I even dared request from the rulers of Twitter in their ivory tower that they provide me with a verified account.

Do you realize who I am?!?  I blog about puke and TITTIES and cats and shit!  This is important mutha-f'in business going down like all the time over here!!

I'm considering boycotting Twitter from here on.  That would make 138 people very unhappy…