reviews

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

-Lingerie for men, because nothing soaks up ball sweat quite like lace

-McDonald's breakfast all day? Yes please with a side of hash browns.

-This bear escape looks a lot like a dude holding a piece of cardboard

-15 really bad engagement photos that make me happy I'm UTTERLY ALONE

-Some hot girl's asses, because texting them to one guy is fucking prude

-The best Larry David tattoos… pret-ty pret-ty cool

-A Kim Kardashian clone showed up in Ray-J's video. Thankfully she wasn't pregnant.

-Women are stupid. Here's why.

-Prison reviews on Yelp. May I serve my sentence at Rikers, Your Honor?

-And Obama with bangs.

[photo via HommeMystere]

iPhone 5: Doesn't work at all. Cannot unlock screen using hoof.

[Horse Reviews, via The Daily What]

Marilyn Hagerty had a good week.

Not only did she write the article above about how fucking superior Grand Forks, North Dakota's new Olive Garden was to all the other shit restaurants in her town, but she also gave the trolls a serious smackdown in a follow-up article.

After Hagerty's article went viral, Grand Forks Herald did a follow up report.  In it, they discussed her new-found popularity:

"Hagerty said her daughter, Gail Hagerty of Bismarck, urged her to read the Facebook comments about her review.

?'I told her I?m working on my Sunday column and I?m going to play bridge this afternoon, so I don?t have time to read all this crap,' Marilyn said."

Boom.  I picture Marilyn saying that while sucking down a bottle of Chianti at Olive Garden's attractive bar area.

So don't even leave any comments about her article in this post.  She ain't gonna read that shit.

[via The Clearly Dope]

"What we're doing here today is to try and understand the underlying roots of your alcohol and drug abuse.  Think back to your childhood.  Is there anything your dad use to do?  Maybe steal your toys and play with them himself for hours on end??  Maybe he and his friends would go film a video about your Fisher-Price Power Wheels Barbie Jammin Jeep, laughing to themselves the entire time, while you were balled up in a corner crying??"

[via CollegeHumor]

We highlighted some of our favorite Tosh.Dough reviews during tonight's episode, but there are hundreds more where those came from…

See them all (and write your own) by visiting the Tosh.Dough page on Yelp!

Nearly three decades after the original Tron movie, the sequel, Tron: Legacy opens this weekend.

The movie has received mixed reviews, but Wired Magazine decided to get an expert (if somewhat biased) opinion from none other than Tron Guy himself.

So what did Tron Guy think?

From Wired.com:

I walked in, expecting to be blown away both from what I?d seen before and from what I knew about the production.  I was not disappointed.

Okay, so obviously the guy who has based his entire public identity around Tron loves to see more Tron, but there had to be something he didn't like.

Turns out there was…

[I was] really, really disappointed Disney didn?t ask me to have anything to do with the sequel?s production or marketing.

Oh come on, Disney!  Tron Guy can act!  Didn't you see him in our Web Redemption!?  He totally made out with the hot babe and everything.

Frankly, I doubt I'll see Tron: Legacy, but I bet you this, Tron Guy: I'm guessing our version of Tron on Tosh.0 was better than any two-bit Disney sequel every could be.

Stay strong, Tron Guy.  Stay strong.

[image via Wired]

Kanye West's much discussed fifth album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy was released today.  So we have that to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving week.

One of the biggest stories to emerge is that notoriously snooty and score-stingy music site Pitchfork awarded the album a perfect 10.0.

Does this signify the emergence of Kanye as the current king of pop having felled the biases of even the most ardent hipsters?  Or does it spell the inevitable end of Pitchfork as the leading taste-maker for music fans juuust off the mainstream?

Or does it mean that in today's economic climate anyone will write anything just to get pageviews to try to boost advertising dollars?

I'm guessing option three.

Therefore, in the vein of trolling for clicks, check out my review of the new Kanye West album, where I give it my lowest rating ever… a negative 2 out of 10!

I didn't feel like actually paying for the new Kanye album, so I just listened to the preview clips on iTunes.  No worries: 30 seconds per song was plenty for me to recall that Kanye's raps range the gambit from self-serving to innocuous.  The beats seemed claustrophobic, leaving me wanting less, not more: 15 seconds would have been plenty.  By the time I got to the preview clip of "Hell of a Life" where Kanye (I think?) spits autotuned nonsense to the melody of Black Sabbath's "Iron Man," I realized it was time to thank God for giving me the power to save $9.99.  This album deserves below a zero.

-2 stars out of 10

[via TDW]

I have mixed feelings about Yelp.

Sure, it can be helpful in finding a restaurant.  But you have to keep in mind that Yelp only expresses the opinions of the kind of person who takes the time to write a review on Yelp.  It's kind of like how the best person you'll find via online dating is someone who had to resort to online dating.

Tumblr blog Cry for Yelp shows how sometimes you have to question the mental stability of members of the Yelp community…

The review from "Henry P." written in the voice of The Hulk shown above is just one of many examples of the often needy, vengeful or just plain socially inept people who voice their opinions on local eateries.

"Suddenly it's policy to let your waiters chase customers down…because I genuinely forgot to tip and apologized?" laments one review on Cry for Yelp.  Um, is it your policy to apologize only after you get caught not tipping?

Well, if your Facebook profile is public, that means you're bound to be on Openbook, a search site that scans FB status updates for key words and displays the results. It's angled to find updates that aren't shouldn't be so public, like "I cheated," "I'm drunk," and "don't tell anyone." You can even "like" Openbook. Are you checking your profile settings yet?

But I wanted to see what good it can do. So I searched "love Tosh.0" and found a whole lotta nice comments …much better then the hateful comments we get all over the web. Perhaps I should use this site more often.

Then I searched for my name and quickly decided against it.

The first page of Moon People is written with no respect for the English language. Since the writer exhibits the aptitude of a Break.com commenter, it's gotten passed around the web. To get the idea, you can check out the first page of the book, or just read the rave reviews:

From Sloat Fresno:

This is a book. And Also its a Good book, one to read. The auther who goes by the Name of Daryl M. Corteney really has a nack for Good science Fiction telling. Also the Story.

And from mju:

This book is Beautifully written with many Words. Now this is not the same type of Book as many other books its real good. I read it 1 then 2 then 3 time's and each Time was real good. Now I don't usually identify with books but this Book is real good and seems like it is just the type of book that I Like.

And here it is pictured along side 1984 and Fahrenheit 451: