ride

Rollercoasters are a lot like seeing your first pair of tits. The line takes FOREVER and before you know it you've splooged your jean shorts. Does that analogy work? Oh well, time for lunch!

[via Acid Cow]

This is the sexiest OurTime date I've ever been on!

Although maybe he'd be better suited for her.

[via The Chive]

In hindsight, maybe we should have just ordered one of those RIP decals.

[via Cherry Plucker]

Dude. That was supposed to be Tonya's present.

[via Izismile]

If you're thinking you don't need a squirrel-cowboy riding the shit out of a rattlesnake, you are wrong, my friend.

This angle proves my point.

Plus, aren't you kinda sad that you missed out on the mummified cat slam dunking a mummified bird?

[via Blame It On The Voices]

You don't wanna know where they put Abu.

[via Imgur]

You know when you get a flat tire on your bike and you're like wait, how else can I slowly get from one place to another because I don't own a car and neither do any of my friends?? And you've never heard of walking?

Well, boy do I have the Russian invention for you.

It's Vodka! Just drink that and you'll forget you were trying to go anywhere.

Fuck this tiny bike. This thing will give you knee problems.

[via The DW]

And all of the internet makes a Sarah Jessica Parker joke.

[via izismile]

The horses would rather be riding them.

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[photo: Greg Wood/Staff/Getty Images]

As the great Ginuwine once said, "If you're horny, let's do it. Ride it, my pony."

[via I am Bored]