rip off

Their signature item is the Large Mac.

[via I am Bored]

I think we've all learned a valuable lesson here today…

Ripping off the blind is a great way to make some quick cash in a poor economy.

And it doesn't matter because all blind people are super rich like Stevie Wonder.

[via Viral Viral Videos]

Come on!  This is just a lame Surprised Kitty rip off with aerobics music over it!

Want proof?  Here you go.

What do you think?  That people will just watch anything if there's aerobics music over it??

Now stop wasting my time.  I have to go back to watching The King of Queens with aerobics music over it.

[via CollegeHumor]

Mashable reports that "researchers found that while half of all Americans surveyed have tried a free web app like Twitter, zero percent of them would be willing to pay to use Twitter."

No shit!  They should be paying us!  If it wasn't for us, Twitter would just be an empty website with a big white "What's happening?" box full of nothing!

I'll tell you what's happening: We're getting ripped off!  Everyday @pomranz is pumping out comedic gold, nonsensical ramblings and things I don't recall because I am inebriated to the point of black-out, and what am I getting in return?  Nothing.  A bunch of idiots reading a bunch of garbage that no one cares about.

I say we start boycotting those jerks over at Twitter until they give us our due.

I think $30 a tweet sounds about right.  What do you think?  Seems fair.

Imagine Matthew Inman's surprise when he saw the above Craigslist ad.  (Click to see the whole thing.)  As creator of The Oatmeal, his unique style and voice has caused others to want to, for lack of a better phrase, rip him off.

Inman jokingly replied to the ad, offering his services (which it seems may have prompted the company to take the ad down).  But personally, I would be quite flattered.

I'd like to believe that I've done enough great work here at the Tosh.0 blog to warrant someone looking to hire a candidate exactly like me.  Here's what I envision that Craigslist ad would read like:

"My company is looking for a mildly competent blogger who can create and write readable, if not quite exceptional, blog content that is similar to the blog posts on http://www.comedycentral.com/tosh.0.

We have the design capabilities on our side; we are specifically looking for an alcoholic writer who is willing to work for free beer.  Our designers will walk you to a local bar after your work is complete.

We are looking for two videos of people vomiting per month at a $40 bar tab/video.  Thank you"

I'd take that gig!

On Wednesday, I wrote about the concept of "being penis'd" — basically, responding to any conversation with the non-sequitur "Penis."

I am the first to admit that, though fun, it's a little silly, and I hoped to explain it and kind of just leave it at that.

But they drag me back in…

Suddenly today, via GorillaMask, I see a link to a new Tumblr blog called "You've Been Penis'd" which basically outlines the use of the "penis response technique" in a number of high-profile situations.

Now, I have no proof that someone began this blog after reading my post; however, if you Google, "been penis'd" (which I do quite regularly I might add), only 7 results show up.

I'll let you guess what the top two results are…

I also must admit, I did not come up with this concept.  Being penis'd is bigger than all of us.  I do not claim to have created it.  But it appears I may have coined the term.  (Well, actually my friend Mark kind of did, but f' him!)

A little credit where credit is due, people!  I don't have much to hang my hat on.  Let me hang my hat on this penis!

The blog is really funny, by the way.  I hope to see more.

Not that banner ads are known for their accurate depictions of truth and reality (typically they involve conning suckers into playing the easiest flash game ever created in an attempt to sell travel packages), but the specific banner ad seen above is just egregious.

What's with the before and after pics?

"4 weeks later I was bigger and buffer and — oh yeah — I also shaved my chest and got about a decade worth of tattoos all over my arms."

What was this guy thinking? Sleeves? All the fat must've gone from his stomach to his head. If you're going to show off your sexy new chest with a killer swastika tat on your left pec, that's one thing, but you can get sleeves even when you are a "fat slob."  In fact, comparing the two pics, the arms are the one body party that doesn't even look that different.  Screw the weight loss, you coulda just gone with the sleeves, man!

But that logic would assume that these two pics are the same person, and, they obviously aren't.

[via Woosk]