robbers

[ED'S NOTE: It's come to our attention that this story is actually from last year, but that's no where near as out-of-date as Lundgren's career, so by Dolph standards it's still big news.]

The Daily Mail reports that armed robbers broke into Dolph Lundgren's house in Spain, making off with valuables and going as far as to tie up the actor's wife and "terrorize" her.

Now, you might think that attempting to rob Dolph Lundgren's house is a bad idea: The man knows how to kick some serious ass.  But in the burglars' defense, they did train for the break in like this:

[via The Daily What]

Ever wonder what notes bank robbers slip to tellers when they're robbing a bank?
No?
Well that doesn't mean you won't be interested in reading them on Banknotes365.com.
CLICK THE LINK OR I'M GOING TO SHOOT.

Get it? This is my favorite one:

This is a bank robbery,
place 1 100.00 bill
on the counter
or I will shoot you.

Solid. It even has it's very own "random bank note generator" so you can write up your note and rob away!

(Don't rob banks. It's a bad idea. But it is fun to see the dumb notes they pass and see that most of them failed. Failure is hilarious!)

[link via Neatorama]

Germans don't have a reputation as the nicest people on the planet, but if they want to change their reputation, perhaps they should do their "materials to beat/rob/injure/hijack" shopping somewhere besides Amazon.de for the rest of the world to see.  Because if you enter in Baseballschläger (baseball bat), you'll see that people who bought that item also bought:

• Leder Quarzsandhandschuhe schwarz, or Black Leather "if they fit, you must acquit" Gloves
• Balaclava 3-Loch, or 3-Hole-unrecognizable-for-a-reason-Hat
• Pfefferspray KO-FOG, or good ol' "burn your eyes because I really want to hurt you" Pepperspray

…and two more types of baseball bats to really get the job done.

I'm going to put this out there; I think this is much more than just a language/translation issue.  I'll be avoiding Germany next time I'm in Europe and sticking to nice people places like Sweden.  You probably type in "baseball bat" on their site and get recommendations for nice things like Cracker Jacks and lollipops.  Just sayin'.

[via Reddit]

Do I even need to say this is just one more reason not to get your face tattooed, or does a reason to get your face tattooed even exist?

Unusual facial tattoo leads to robber's arrest, cops say

Me: "Where are you from?"

Tattoo Face: (Just points to face)

Me: "Yeah, but what part?"

[via UniqueDaily]

In a story first told to me by a friend who loves to exaggerate, I heard that Twitter may be the new way burglars are using to rob homeowners when they read online that they are leaving via tweets.  "Ridiculous!" I said, but then googled it and found that he wasn't that far off; or at least in this one case.  An Arizona man claims that last month, one of his two thousand something Twitter followers could have read his tweets, saw he was out of town, and broken into his house.  

I can't believe that this would actually work.  Have you guys read Twitter's public timeline?  I picked some tweets that show that the people on this social networking site are anything but rob-while-they're-out-of-town-worthy.  Burglars won't be scoring much from these people:

• uv2teach08 @PuddsMom trip's good so far. Hate being broke on vacation. Hard to relax counting every nickel.
• waltripwoman I forgot to turn on the trailer fridge last night. Where is my brain? Got to pack it up and gas up the truck. Luckily not leaving til noon. 
• neeyan holy crap $37! :( I'm kinda in debt. And I think we're leaving to San Diego on Saturday… Why am I always going out of town?!
• krystyn13 Yay! just made a sale on Craigslist. this is how to get vacation money when you are as broke as me.
• Kaleila_J #unacceptable Going out of town with homies, but no money to spend… cmon now black people!
• PBDERRTY 6am jus leaving the Harrah's Casino wit @Nelly_Mo@Cityspud and @ucitytopher DAMNit I didnt WIN shit broke even, leave town in a few hours
• JeriPutman I should've opted out of going to town, I want to buy to everything…with no money!
• MrsTattooedgeek Summer vacation when you're poor is just a cruel joke.
• noone89 My laptop is broken and now I get to buy a new one, right before vacation. I love having no money :(

Good luck with that, robbers.  Perhaps you should check out Affluence.org instead.