sandwich

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• This guy is a Photoshop master. He and Rihanna look so happy together. 
• Twerking in the wrong places is GIF gold. But are there wrong places to twerk?
• There's a Google Glass porn app now. Talk about POV's.
• Eddie Murphy's Boogie In Your Butt, because I can't think of a reason not to include it.
• Phones Replaced With Sandwiches. Honestly I'd rather drop my phone than a sandwich.
• Sexy girls in tight dresses! We all like to be slutty sometimes.
• A guinea pig watching the rain in a cowboy hat. Jesus Christ this is deep.
• Nathan's Prank Texts really pissed some people off.
• Teeny tiny foods! I'll have 100 orders of pancakes, please.
• Samuel L. Jackson is holding a monologue contest. Get out your quill and ink.
• Talking Bellies temporary tattoos. My dad's spits out lint all day.
• And a great dane meeting a baby goose, so you have something to e-mail your mom.

[photo via Izismile]

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• A Vaseline helmet, which will protect your skull from chapped lips.
• The Texas Sky Scrambler is definitely going to kill someone.
• JCPenney made a teapot that looks like Hitler. At least it isn't an actual Hitler teapot.
• Here's a May news blooper compilation. Live TV! Never a dull moment.
• Ants will carry signs if you put pee on them. Looks like the ones in my yard are about to picket.
• Squeezing boobs may help prevent breast cancer. Also it's just fun to do.
• Face Mashups is a great YouTube channel. I suggest Lebron and Carey Mulligan next.
• These bike tricks are gnarly. I still use training wheels.
• 28 hula hooping girls GIFs should keep you entertained forever.
• And how to make a hot fudge chocolate chip cookie cookie dough ice cream sandwich. In case you'd like your heart to explode, but aren't sure of the best method.

[photo via Metro]

Not until your salads agree to toss my salad.

[via Izismile]

It's a bad sign if you're totally alone and bullying is still a issue.

[via Izismile]

"I said I wanted cheese, not cheddar."

[via The Chive]

Honestly if they're not gonna bite off the Pop Tart edges before it gets to me I'm not interested.

Also: my co-blogger Matt is asking if there will be a version filled with ground beef?

[via Huffington Post]

"All right, Ma'am, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here."

[via UberHumor]

Great, now I'm able to hold hands with the girlfriend I don't have.

[via Neatorama]

Honestly, I'd try it if I didn't have all that cum for breakfast.

[via Break]

Asian Lady? Big Sandwich? Guys, I have an idea for the BEST. PORN. EVER.

[via Imgur]