Sex

Should I be worried that my Chlamydia doesn't look like Grimace?

[via Break]

The one thing I wouldn't do for sex: go on Family Feud.

[via Viral Viral Videos]

What's weird is that I usually like to stay -1 Bible lengths away from my partner.

[via Failblog]

How To Use An Inner Tube Romantically When You're On Your Own:

1) Flatten inner tube

2) Cut hole in it (size of Oreo)

3) Go to Marine Supply Office… Depot. Buy rubber hosing, put around the hole of the inner tube. It will look like Janice Dickinson's lips.

4) Find pleasure by yourself in a beautiful body of water (trees, birds chirping, doves honking)

5) Insert your pleasure body parts into the hole

6) Push and pull inner tube

7) Smile, act like nothing's happening

8) Send Christmas card to inner tube company.

[via Barstool]

Want Some Fries? Slap Our Thighs.

[via The Chive]

Does he know how to make her recumbent, or does she have to do it herself?

Either way, it reminds me of this.

[via Boss Thug]

"No, I said BLOW UP the railroad." -Wile E. Coyote

[via Izismile]

What if I think Jesus is just OK? Will that get me some over-the-pants stuff?

[via Fail Blog]

'Cause she's all, "I only do missionary" and I'm like, "It'd be awesome if you didn't talk".

[via It Makes No Sense]

The Mushroom Sex Toy story was easily 2012's best news fail, winning by a landslide.

There's something about the fact that nobody thought, "Hey, that looks like a vagina."

Gets me every time.