shaq

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• Mama June got married in a camo dress. Ironically, I wish I hadn't seen her in it.�
• A very vulgar kid, who I can only assume is Mike The Miz twenty years ago.
• Baby eyebrows are all kinds of scary.
• Jose Canseco is great at Twitter. But Shaq's better.
• Sexy girls in sports bras, anyone? My diet starts Monday. Ah fuck it IS Monday.
• This chick took a calculator to prom. I wonder if it took her V-card (Volume card).
• Here's a baby water-skiing in gross water. Parenting, amiright?
• Mother's Day gift guide! Which is 85% kitchen-related.
• Old lady twins who always dress the same? They've spent their entire husbandless lives arguing about which necklace they're going to wear.
• And IRON MAN 3 FULL MOVIE STREAMING ONLINE FOR FREE!! You're welcome.

[photo via Buzzfeed]

Shaq comes here when his IBS is acting up.

[Via Izismile]

Some recent photos of Shaquille O'Neal and his beau Nicole ?Hoopz? Alexander have taken the Internet by storm today …primarily because she's 5'2" and he's taller than the rest of us combined.

AT THIS POINT YOU'RE READING THIS TO AVOID PICTURING THEM HAVING SEX.

Clicking this link won't help.� (SFW, but NSFL)

[via Best Week Ever/image via Reddit]

Sometimes, the Internet gives you things you do not understand.

I did a lot of research to get to the bottom of this photo.� Luckily, the Los Angeles Times was able to help:

"Shaquille O'Neal holds a giant panda on his lap at the Panda Breeding Research Center in Chengdu, southwest China's Sichuan province on July 16."

There you go.� Simple enough, right?

Furthering my Shaq's research, I discovered via ESPN.com that the Cavaliers are paying the big man $21,000,000 to play basketball this year.

Somehow, I think that further explains the photo.� You don't see guys shoveling coal for $9 an hour hanging out with pandas.� You just don't.

Don't ask me who still shovels coal.� I don't know.

[via Skull Swap]

As honest as this clip may seem, I hate to break it to you, but Shaq is lip-synching.

Yesterday, Shaquille O'Neal was traded to the Cleveland Cavaliers.

If that's news to you, don't worry.� It was bigger news to Shaq when one of his followers alerted him of what was going on via Twitter!� (Here's Shaq's page.)

A couple of NBA stories have been broken recently on Twitter.� Basically, here's the deal… A little advice for all basketball players (because I am the expert on being a professional athlete): If your agent isn't on Twitter, fire him.� Now.� You want to be in the loop and you don't have time to wait for phone calls.

… Hold on … I'm getting a tweet …

Okay, turns out this post isn't funny enough.� I've been traded to the Jimmy Kimmel Live blog.� Time to go clear out my locker.

[via TechCrunch]