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You know what they say: the bigger the shoe, the more likely an Asian fits in it.
You know when you get a flat tire on your bike and you're like wait, how else can I slowly get from one place to another because I don't own a car and neither do any of my friends?? And you've never heard of walking?
Well, boy do I have the Russian invention for you.
It's Vodka! Just drink that and you'll forget you were trying to go anywhere.
Fuck this tiny bike. This thing will give you knee problems.
[via The DW]
You haven't lived until you've felt bus seat fabric on your bare ass cheeks.
[via Acid Cow]
I was as impressed as anybody when I saw the video above on Say OMG.† How'd such a fat guy get through such a tiny tube!?
But in researching the video, I found something very unsettling…
Turns out fat guys jumping through tiny pool tubes is a thing.
So I thought, with summer winding down, wouldn't it be perfect to present you with what I can only hope is the Internet's largest collection of "Fat Guys Jumping Through Tiny Pool Tubes" videos.
My apologies if you or someone you know is a fat guy that has a swimming pool and all of this is old news.
See 14 more videos after the jump…
Whatever. I used to live in a 2-square-foot apartment. Every time I got an erection I had to open the door.
But as a New Yorker, let me explain what's going on here: This guy is scared as shit of living anywhere near minorities.
[via Viral Viral Videos]
I watched The Voiceon Tuesday expecting to hate it. I didn't. It's kind of entertaining. But that's not what this post is about. This post is about the size of Cee-Lo Green's hands.
Have you seen those things? They are so tiny!!†And he is constantly using them when he talks.
I didn't hear a thing Cee-Lo said on the show because I was so focused on his miniature extremities.
After the jump, we'll take an in-depth look at just how small Cee-Lo Green's hands are.
Hey, Skipper Andrew Strauss? You got any bigger urns? We're trying to find somewhere to store all the ashes from that BUUUUURN.
Oh my god!† That's amazing!
I've never seen such a shitty door in all my life!
Don't you love it when international puff pieces go viral on the web?† It's always so interesting to find out that in other countries cats ride the bus before being run over by a car, or that somewhere in the world there is a man with balls the size of beanbag chairs.
I don't speak whatever language the above video is in, but allow me to provide a loose translation nonetheless:
Reporter: Shane Brainhart is the laughing stock of his small depressing town where genocide is overlooked by local media outlets so that we may spend more time covering stories about small cars.
Shane: "My car is about 5 feet wide and my garage is barely even 5 feet wide, and ever since I was caught stalking young boys from inside my small car, I am no longer allowed to park on the street.† So I installed this board here, which is as hard as my genitalia when I look at a young boy, to help squeeze my car in the garage.† It is as tight as a young boy's sculpted body.† Now watch."
Reporter: Shane squeezes the car into his small garage as if to attempt to prove his life has meaning.
Shane: "I put the car in neutral, you see, and can use this door to slide on inside my house.† Voila.† You think someone with talents like this would have at least one friend or a relative who would call or even visit on occasion."
Reporter: Why not just end your life, which is obviously miserable?
Shane: "I like to think of my car as an affront to God.† That bastard wants to make my life a living hell and I say to him, I will persevere for no reason other than spite."
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