smartphone

Last week, a video of a lizard playing this Ant Crusher game went viral.

Turns out a bullfrog isn't going to put up with that shit — chasing after fake ants like an idiot.

"Why don't you download that app that will reattach a thumb, bitch!?"

[via The Daily What]

"This is the worst ant vending machine ever!" – the lizard

[via VVV]

His milkshake brought all the girls to the yard.  Then it gave him diabetes.

[via EpicFail]

"This always happens.  I go out ONE more night a month than I planned…"

[via Izismile]

I'm not an evil genius.  I just know to steal from guys with greasy fingers.

[via Pleated Jeans]

According to The Guardian, the devices will be sold in vending machines in nightclubs, pharmacies, and in supermarkets. And they'll only cost a dollar.

Ain't technology grand?

I peed on my Dad's carphone once. Didn't detect any STDs but it did prove to him that I wasn't joking when I said we needed to stop.

[via Blame it on the Voices]

Hey Mr. Klein,

Here's the thing about advertisements: They are supposed to help you sell your product.

With a giant QR code on a billboard, you're bound to elicit one of three reactions:

1) People with smartphones think they are cool — that's why they own smartphones.  No cool person is going to snap a photo of a giant advertisement with their phone, because that's not what cool people do.  Cool people wear expensive hats made by clothiers other than Calvin Klein.  It's not cool to like advertisements.

2) People without smartphones are jealous — jealous of people with smartphones.  Jealousy is not a good emotion to help elicit a purchase from someone.  Jealous people are angry — angry that they'll never know what that damn QR code reveals.  They will take that anger out on Calvin Klein Jeans.  They will wear Wrangler instead.  That's probably all the can afford.  They are poor people without smartphones.

3) Everyone else will just say "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?"  But they won't say it aloud because they don't want to sound like idiots.  No one will hear them, and no one will tell them it's a QR code.  These people will be confused and confused people don't buy anything.  They just stand around awkwardly with their confusion.

This is not an ad…  It is an abomination!

Signed,
Guy Who Hates Technology (possibly the Unabomber)

[via Racked]