snooki

Less teeth, more tongue. That's how you stay married.

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[photo: Andrew H. Walker/Staff/Getty Images]

"Jersey Shore is a show that used to be super popular." – You explaining your Jersey Shore ornament this Christmas

[via I Am Bored]

Set to premiere this fall on The CW is H8R, a show where celebrities confront their biggest haters.

Surprisingly, Mario Lopez hosts the show and is not one of the people who confronts a hater.  Probably because he didn't meet the show's definition of "celebrity."

The clip above comes from the pilot where Snooki had the opportunity to confront one of her many, many, many haters.  (How did they even choose a person?)

If you ask me, this show looks fucking terrible.  And if you think I'm just hatin', I don't give a shit!!  I'll just sit back and wait for the season 2 premiere of H8R where the producers of H8R confront me about how I won't stop hatin' on them.

Then everybody wins.  Especially me, because my hate will have finally paid off with those big CW reality television bucks!

[via Best Week Ever]

Wrestling is fake, right? Right. Okay, we know that.

But of all the things that Snooki fakes?bar fights, friendships, reading?this is the one she's best at.

Wrestling may be fake but did you see that back handspring?

It was real to me, dammit!

[via The Clearly Dope]

After hearing this news, JWOWW changed her name to JUGOTTABFUCKINKIDDINGME.

[via Reddit]

Our favorite tan hamster has written a novel called "A Shore Thing", the content of which will make you want to drop what you're doing and head for the nearest online bookstore.

Whet your appetite with these nuggets of brilliance:

"Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a 'roid rage, it is a 'road' 'roid rage."

"Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky."

I once had an argument with Mike that began with my proclamation that Snooki, in her own way, is somewhat of a genius.

Well. When you're right. You're right.

[via NYPost]

Return your tux, call off the limo, break up with your girlfriend.

New Year's is cancelled.

According to PopEater, Snooki will no longer descend from the heavens in a giant hamster ball at midnight. An insider claimed there's "no way" the Times Square officials would allow the Snooki ball drop stunt: "You have to play by the official rules or you get kicked out."

Well, fuck a duck. I guess 2011 just isn't gonna happen.

Like a tiny, radiant angel fallen from the sky, Snooki will descend upon Times Square this New Year's Eve. Obviously she'll be inside a sparkly ball.

Your 2011 Halloween costume just created itself.

[via Hollywood Reporter]

'South Park' took aim at Jersey Shore's Snooki and no one liked it more than the oompa loompa herself:

Myyy PICKLESSS. Muuust haaave PICKLESSS.

[Watch the full episode here]

Every week we see countless comments that have absolutely nothing to do with anything. Our favorite irrelevant comment this week came from bbaallman in response to a picture of Snooki reading a book.

I appreciate this irrelevant comment for its simplicity. But it's still ridiculous. I give you Snooki on a spring horse at a playground reading a book called "Power" and you give me blog blog blog?!

Come on, bbaallman! Our relationship is a two-way street!

Now get your hands off my ass.

If you have any irrelevant comments please go ahead and leave them below. We bloggers truly appreciate your cooperation.

Confession time… I saw Step Up 3D.