snowman

Nothing gets me going like a man whose eyes match his nipples.

[via Izismile]

Granted, 12 seniors had heart attacks during filming, but it was SO worth it! LOL!

[via Viral Viral Videos]

Hopefully his present was ten years of therapy.

[via Imgur]

It's one thing to embarrass your own family, but think of the poor snowmen…

[via Bits & Pieces]

Now it's not just Santa who sees you when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake.

[via Reddit]

With your generosity this season, you've donated a giant snow penis.

Thank you!

[via The HD]

Jabba the Snowman post: Greatest Tosh.0 blog post or laziest Tosh.0 blog post?

[via BuzzFeed]

The Lonely Island boys had a big hit with their SNL Digital Short "Dick in a Box," but some enterprising entrepreneur out there poses the question, "Who needs a box?"

That's the plan behind the patent you see above of what the inventor calls a "Decorative Penile Wrap."

Or at least I think that was the plan.  Far be it from me to be able to get inside the head of a man who invents a decorative penile wrap.

Also, again, not to say I am better than a man who would invent decorative penile wrap …but a snowman?  Somehow there's nothing less logical than shoving your junk into a pile of snow.

More ridiculous and real holiday-themed patents can be found at Dumb as a Blog.

Remember when Snoop Dogg quit smoking pot to coach youth football?

Neither does Snoop.

Follow up question: Who do you think is higher, Snoop or that snowman?  Keep in mind that the snowman is so high he might not even realize he is a snowman.

[via The High Definite]