standing

Don't pee on the seat. Put your penis in the bowl.

And then maybe see a doctor because you're pissing sand.

[via Barstool]

The smart money is on this guy having a mustache.

[via I Am Bored]

What does Keanu care if he's standing or sitting? We're all living in The Matrix anyway.

His real body is actually asleep in some pod somewhere.

Or something. I couldn't pay attention to that stoner nonsense.

"Look at all the special effects!"  I'll tell you who was "special": the person who wrote that terrible script.

But yeah, regardless, Keanu is super nice guy.  He's just an actor.  The Matrix wasn't his fault.

[via Viral Viral Videos]

Featuring some of the latest Twitter and Facebook comments about Tosh.0.

Very good question, Vincent!  (Despite your refusal to use a question mark.)

I'm sure there are many of you out there wondering, "What is a Tosh.0 taping like?"

Yes, the show is shot in front of a green screen, but like all shows shot in front of a green screen, every member of the audience is given special goggles.  These goggles allow audience members to view Daniel in a setting of their choosing!

For instance, I was at a taping last week and I set my goggles to place Daniel on second base during the bottom of the 10th inning in Game 6 of the 1986 World Series between the Red Sox and the Mets.  It was exhilarating!

Or maybe we just throw a bunch of TVs on stage so the audience can follow the action along with Daniel.  I can't 100% remember.  I'd been dosing acid pretty much the entire week I was in LA.

Oh, and I'm missing a pair of goggles if you see them.

This silly dog can't get off his back!

You know why?

'Cause he's a JERK!  That's why!!