std

Pretty sure this guy has HPV, because his rhymes are SICK. (Not really, he's mediocre at best.)

[via DoucheChillz]

Should I be worried that my Chlamydia doesn't look like Grimace?

[via Break]

Normally I don't solicit strangers for sex, but this is an emergency.

[via Fart Daughter]

You might have gonorrhea. Or you might have fucked a different guy named Roderick that goes by Whoopi.

[via The Chive]

I prefer Vegas. Where my odds of getting Chlamydia are equal to my odds of winning twenty-five cents at a slot machine.

[via The Clearly Dope]

This is one of those long-term commitment clubs that's impossible to get out of.

How many times do I have to unsubscribe from your email list!?!?

[thanks Brittany]

Herpes Pizza — where you order a pizza once and pay for it the rest of your life.

[via Nothing To Do With Arbroath]

According to The Guardian, the devices will be sold in vending machines in nightclubs, pharmacies, and in supermarkets. And they'll only cost a dollar.

Ain't technology grand?

I peed on my Dad's carphone once. Didn't detect any STDs but it did prove to him that I wasn't joking when I said we needed to stop.

[via Blame it on the Voices]

Last week when Daniel Tosh visited AdultConwe asked you to submit your "anything Q-tip related" videos to the website, and boy did you.

They may not make much sense to YOU, but we love nonsense, so keep 'em coming. In the meantime, click after the jump to see more "special" videos from our users. Note: probably NSFW. Thanks guys. You alone are keeping Q-tipping alive.

And by alone, I mean being weird about Q-tips.

And join our community to submit videos, links, and find other Tosh.0 fans!

more...

That's right, searching for Jessica Biel online is bad for your computer, and I can't imagine she's someone who would know how to fix your hard drive after she ruins it.  So stay away!

Internet security company McAfee did their annual survey of toxic search terms and found that there's a one-in-five chance of being directed to a malicious site when searching for her name. 

"Cybercriminals are star watchers, too," said Jeff Green, senior vice president of McAfee's product development. "They latch onto popular celebrities to encourage the download of malicious software in disguise."

Latching onto celebs with 'malicious software?'  Sounds a lot like someone I've seen doing that very same thing…