stranger

The secret code word in my family was, "Get in the fucking car."

[via Hell.tv]

Uh, no.  I urinate on my wife or child with 100% accuracy.

[via Izismile]

John Westwood, a 45-year-old New York bookkeeper, is offering oral sex to any qualifying woman. And he's so serious about it, he left a few handwritten notecards in women's magazines with his phone number on the back.

In case you're interested, that number is (718) 446-0424.

Westwood promised Gawker there is "nothing freaky-looking" about him.

Phew. That was my main concern.

This stranger wants to give me and every other woman aged 18 to 59 powerful orgasms? Fine. But what does he look like?

Say what you will about this motel, it's still nicer than the other motels I saw driving into town: "A Cheaper Motel for Setting Up a Temporary Meth Lab with a Deranged Cousin" or "The Cheapest Motel for Getting Murdered by the Town Sociopath."

But the economy is shit right now, so I stayed in the cheaper motel.  The continental breakfast had great meth!

[via THD]