stuck

Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:

• A grown ass man got stuck in a high chair and had to call 911. PS his friends left him there.
• This clip from HBO's Real Sex is one of those WOW moments. I've played it ten times already.
• A drunk angry guy cut off his penis to get back at his girlfriend. Sound logic.
• Tobias Funke in The Shining. This scene still makes me want to pee my cutoffs.
• Girls in and around water is all kinds of sexy! Stay hydrated, kids.
• 'Follow me/Bring beer' sandals. I should say both of those things to potential suitors.
• Kim Kardashian's pregnant feet are- AHHHH.
• A Papa John's delivery guy was busted for delivering $40,000 worth of cocaine. Did he include the garlic sauce??
• Dharma eats spaghetti. Is the singular for spaghetti still spaghetti? She eats ONE spaghetti.
• Justin Bieber has 24 hours to claim his monkey, is definitely not going to.
• A dude rubbed his dick on some pepperoni in a grocery store because why not?
• Bonus Link: Mama June's portrait, which to be honest reminds me of Kim Kardashian's pregnant feet.

[photo via Gawker]

"You know, so I can watch my favorite movie, Castaway."

[via Izismile]

But who shoved him up there in the first place?

[via The Chive]

Come on, kid. We don't need another Superman who can't feel his neck.

[via IHC]

THIS IS WHY MOM IS DIVORCING YOU.

[via TheChive]

Don't hate on this video.  He had to drop a full $2.25 on production costs!  That makes this like the Avatar of the viral video world!

But let's talk seriously for a moment: Who did this dude think he was?  Nick Lowery?  There's no way those Fritos were making it through those uprights.

Think with your head, not with your stomach next time!

[via Today's Big Thing]

Last Friday, we showed you "Giant Tortoise Too Giant for Doggy Door" and asked you to give us a better title.

We picked five of our favorites and now it's your chance to vote on a winner.

Vote below! Then check back this Friday for the results and a new video.

Literal titles are the worst.  "Giant Tortoise Too Giant for Doggy Door" does a good job describing this video, but it avoids touching on the subtext.  What about the subtext!?

Think you got a funnier name for this video? Let us know in the comments! Then check back on Tuesday at noon for the vote off!

The winner of last week's Rename This Video vote was Davesucks who wrote, "In Ireland, that's called going to bed."  Ah, racism…  Works every time to win over Tosh.0 fans.  Congratulation, Davesucks!  Let's hope that Dave really does suck.

Did you escape from being stuck behind a couch?

Yes?  Well, that's a good start.

Did your parents stopping asking you an endless barrage of annoying questions?

Yes?  Ok.  Two for two.  Sounds like a decent holiday so far.

Did you lose your favorite police car?

Maybe?  You're not sure; you still haven't gotten it back yet?

Fair enough.  We'll skip that one.

Did your parents put an embarrassing video of you up on the Internet that you will never be able to live down as long as you live, even though it is quite possible you may live for another hundred years?

Yes?  Your holiday sucked.  Sorry, kid.