suicide

Featuring some of the latest Twitter and Facebook comments about Tosh.0.

My favorite part of this tweet is the 2 missing periods.

I guess he finally heard the sound of his own voice.

[via I Heart Chaos]

Isn't today Mother's Day?

No. That's Sunday.

Pls ignore. Will resend Sunday

[via reddit]

But only if he has a probation hearing the next day.

Rapper/film producer/semi-pro crisis negotiator T.I. "appeared out of nowhere" Wednesday afternoon to persuade a 25 year-old man not to jump off a roof in Atlanta.

For a guy who was arrested buying three machine guns in a parking lot of a grocery store, T.I. sure does seem to have a heart of gold.

Oh no, wait. That's a necklace.

[via CNN]

Don't worry, guys. It's already been taken care of.

From Indiecred:

Laughing at other people's pain is that much more enjoyable when you can make awful stereotypes about that person.  It creates detachment which can lessen your natural instinct for empathy.  I learned all this from that Austrian Sigmund Freud.  We all know Austrians are long-winded nincompoops.  What a jerk!

Anyway, here you go, Melder: "The country Arab guy that couldn't figure out the sliding glass door."

We've been anxiously awaiting the opportunity to get more hate mail from Pakistan.

Let us know your favorite video in the comments so we can use it next week!

Hey, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, especially bad news that may lead to mass suicide… but what the hell is a "morpsuit"!

If you're going to threaten to kill yourself if someone doesn't wear a certain article of clothing, make sure that article of clothing exists first.

What's even nuttier is that three people agree with Jack Jones!  Three people were thinking, Yes, let's have Daniel Tosh wear a morpsuit!  Everyone should wear morpsuits!  I know exactly what a morpsuit is!!

Why does a morp need a suit anyway?  They usually go casual!  [That bit killed in the Catskills in 1958, by the way.]

But alright, I get it…  You mean a "morphsuit."  Which I'm assuming you realize wouldn't work since the show is shot on a greenscreen!  Daniel would just disappear into the background.  It would just be a voice and stupid Internet clips.

But come on, Jack.  Keep an eye on your spelling.  If you read the blog regularly, you know I take spelling very seriuosly!!!!1!

All new episodes of Tosh.0 return on June 2nd at 10:30pm / 9:30c on Comedy Central! You excited yet??

First, the American government made suicide illegal, ruining the holiday plans of many of this country's millions of depressed citizens.

Now, Facebook is standing up to suicide, pulling the plug (ironic wording!) on the "Web 2.0 Sucide Machine."

This online assisted suicide machine "lets you delete all your energy sucking social-networking profiles, kill your fake virtual friends, and completely do away with your Web2.0 alterego."

Obviously, Facebook didn't like the sound of that one bit and banned the site.

Which is for the best.  Suicide is never the answer.  You should address a need for online fulfillment the same way you would in real life.

Religion, like the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, can help provide answers.  Or you could go to About.com to receive unvetted advice from an expert.  Or just talk it out with your friends.

…they are all available online!

If it all seems like a vicious circle, try not to think about it too much.  That just makes things worse.

[via NetworkWorld]

Wikipedia saves lives.

Or at least according to the note the above anonymous person left with his donation to the online encyclopedia: "I came here to find out about cyanide to kill myself…which led to other articles making me forget about suicide."

Just think: If he had looked up "cyanide" in the Encyclopedia Britannica, he'd be dead by now.

Which supports my long-standing theory: The Encyclopedia Britannica has led to countless deaths.

[via Reddit]

For days I've been convinced that it's only coincidence that there's ketchup in the background since his scowl is so spot-on. My friends tell me otherwise.

Regardless, I don't think this is an emo failure. Emo is always just an act. When you see an emo person wearing eye make-up, do you really think he's tired to the point of exhaustion? Did sheer depression really turn all of his normal-colored clothes (and hair) jet-black? Are his shoes really sewn together with thread because he can't afford to buy new ones? No.

So, don't judge this guy. He's fitting in perfectly.

[via i am bored]