t-shirt

The only downside is that after we bone, it'll look weird when I wear his shirt to bed.

[via I am Bored]

He knows from experience.

[via reddit]

Forever is a long time.  I'm usually more like "Cock & Balls For The Next 10 Minutes."

[via scrotumcoat]

She sweats more getting out of bed than you will all day.

[via bringtheruckuss]

As long as none of the rules have anything to do with her pussy, I'll agree to that.

[via IHC]

I hate your wife too.  She can't give a tugjob to save her life.

[via Fork Party]

…but then I pulled my T-shirt off my face.  Now I can drink fine.

[via Izismile]

"And then he asked me if I come here often and that's when I realized I needed to go on a diet."

[via Reddit]

"What you doin' wearin' that shirt around here!?  You lookin' for a fight??  'Cause you know damn well people in this neighborhood love their pussy dry as the autumn leaves."

[via I Am Bored]

The Internet is getting all excited over it's new favorite book: The Right to Arm Bears by Gordon R. Dickson.

BuzzFeed went ahead and called it "The Greatest Book Of All Time."

Well, I hate to break it to you, but I'm pretty sure Mr. Dickson stole the plot of that book from a T-shirt I bought my girlfriend in Lake Tahoe…

Greatest book of all time??  More like greatest boyfriend of all time. Me.

[NOTE: I'm willing to accept that there's a chance the book may have come before the T shirt.  But can my girlfriend wear the fucking book?  No.  So fuck the book.]

[via TDW]