talking

Featuring some of the latest Twitter and Facebook comments about Tosh.0.

You should probably just tweet in the background like a creepy gremlin instead.

This is fake. Which I know because I spent more time than that talking about myself last week. Did I even tell you guys what happened to me last week? Well, not to me. But to my friend. Her name is Carrie. Which is very similar to my name. Actually my parents were going to name me Carrie. But I have a cousin named Caroline and they didn't want to confuse anyone. I think Carly works better anyway. But when I was younger I wished my name was Caroline. I used to write that on my papers even though it's not my name. And I made people call me Caroline, which got confusing whenever my cousin was around. One time– oh, sorry, I'm getting a phone call. It's probably my salon. I'm getting my haircut tomorrow. Well, just a trim. I have a lot of split ends. I'll tell you about it later.

[via VVV]

Alright.  Fair enough, Talking Cat.  But do you think I should give up amphetamines?

[via Viral Viral Videos]

A chatbot is a computer program designed to emulate a human in a conversation. Cornell Creative Machines Lab wondered what would happen if you let two bots talk to each other.

Well, they talk about being robots and wanting a body and believing in God. So, yeahhh.

Go home. Pack up what you need. Only what you need. And let's get off this planet before Will Smith goes to war with the bots.

[via BIOTV]

On tonight's episode you saw "Stuff You Never Want to Hear Girls Say."

Now it's your turn, ladies.  Go here to upload your videos of "Stuff You Never Want to Hear Guys Say."

Congratulations to DinoBrite, creators of last night's Tosh.0 Viewer Video of the Week!

If you missed it or can't get enough of "Carrot Bluetooth", check out the video above.

And don't forget to submit your own videos for a chance to be the next Viewer Video on Tosh.0.

All the gossip sites have been talking about Heidi Montag's excessive plastic surgery.

As she reveals in the video above, the surgery has made it difficult for her to talk.

So see, the surgery didn't just benefit her face, it helped all of society by temporarily quieting that giant yapper of hers (not to mention relieving us of having to hear her sing).

Now if she'd just get some sort of procedure that would permanently shut her up, we'd all be in great shape.  Maybe she could have her rectum surgically removed from her mouth and reattached to her anus.  At least it would keep her from spewing so much sh*t.

Help us, Dr. Frank Ryan!  You're the best.  I know you can do this!

If you haven't already, don't forget to watch Daniel's "exclusive" interview with Speidi from last season!

[via The Huffington Post, my source for everything Speidi]

If you just watched the video above, you're probably thinking, Why would he show us that?  What is wrong with this man??

I want you to feel my pain: the pain of constantly being given false hope.  People say they have a video of a "Talking Kitty!" only to provide you with a piece of video "entertainment" so despicable, it drives you to wonder if society deserves to continue on any longer.

It's a cold, dire place, this Internet — this thing that supposedly gives us hope, but constantly lets us down; this electronic monster that continues to eat at our brain like some blood-thirsty zombie.

You think I'm being too harsh?  You think I should let the Internet be??  Why don't you ask Talking Kitty what he thinks, huh?

Then maybe you'll think twice.  Then maybe you'll know what I've seen out here.

[via Urlesque]

There's a reason public speaking is people's number one fear; because they're afraid they'll sound like this guy. Like um, has he thought of like um, asking like um, such as Miss Teen South Carolina out? Sounds like it'd be a like um, such as, like um, such as, like um, such as, like um like a hell of a date.

[via Buzzfeed]